Friday, January 18, 2008

Underpants, My Morning Downfall.

The day started out OK. My hubby left for work before we all got up and my Kiki slept a little later than usual. I got them breakfast and all was well until I requested that Kiki get dressed and that is where it all went downhill.

I guess it might be my fault for saying I'd help him if he needed it, but really he doesn't need it and he almost always dresses himself. But lately he's been doing this helpless thing and suddenly his underwear (seen on the left and made with my own bare hands) became something that would confuse a member of Mensa.

He insisted over and over he couldn't get his underwear on but I wasn't going to do it for him. I felt like he was trying to play me and I was in the middle of changing a really gross poopy diaper. I did help him by holding them up in front of him to make sure he understood which way they went ("mama, does the tag go on my penis or my butt?") but he kept insisting on putting his legs into the same hole. Now mind you, he puts on his underpants every day as well as Pull Ups at night. There is no reason why suddenly he is incapable of putting them on now.

He finally got dressed, complaining and grousing the whole time. I kept threatening him that he'd lose a sticker if he kept up his yelling, and losing a sticker means it will take longer for him to go to play Skee ball-something that he has been working towards for awhile. Well he kept going so I told him he didn't get a sticker today. And he kept on going, yelling over and over "MAMA! THAT'S NOT NICE". Fine. I sent him into time out while I got his brother ready to leave for daycare. Mind you it's after 7:30 so I'll be late for work again.

We head out the door and cross the bridge to the parking lot but Kiki just stands on the bridge. He won't cross. I tell him he gets to 5 to come across or else... I don't remember if I specified what would happen. Well he didn't cross so I went and got him and told him he lost ALL his stickers for the week. That really set him off. He spent the whole car ride to daycare screaming at me that I'm not nice, and to be honest I was almost in tears. I just ignored him since yelling back that he wasn't being nice didn't seem like it would help.

I dropped him off, told him if I got a good report from Daycare and he did good at home he could play games with me and Daddy that night (because I took his games away during the not so peaceful car ride). I told him I loved him and he came and gave me a hug and kiss before I left but he seemed sad and I left feeling bad.

I called my Husband and asked if he'd call and talk to Kiki since he'd had a bad morning. So around 11:30 am I called Daycare to check on him and I was told by Daycare Dad that Kiki started crying when he got off the phone with Jim. That made me sad, I asked if I could talk to him and Daycare Dad said he wasn't going to go through that again and he was eating now. I asked again saying I wasn't going to make him cry. I just wanted to talk to him. Again I'm thwarted with "He's eating right now, lets not rock the boat". Then I plead one last time I just wanted to tell him I love him and he again rebuffs me with "Lets not rock the boat" so I just said "OK. Bye" and hung up feeling like a big (Rhymes with) Spit Ball and it's made of excrement (Sister Honey won't let me swear).

I told Darling Dear that poor Kiki cried after their conversation and now he feels like a big Rhymes with Spitball and wants to take Kiki to Skee Ball tonight since he's been good for the most part. And let me tell you, Kiki is one of the most sweet, caring, helpful good-natured kids out there. He's just been having a problem with talking tones with us lately.

So I'm a spitball, Jim's a spitball and now because of our massive guilt we might be spitty parents and take him to Skee Ball even though I took it away. My guilt will cause me to likely teach him that I don't mean what I say and that consequences aren't adhered to. Well who knows what we'll end up doing.

That was Wednesday. After writing this blog I felt like we just couldn't go do skee ball that night even though we both felt bad. So hubby picked him up early and talked him about what happened telling him he could still go to skee ball in a day or two. So in a way we did give in to our guilt and let him get his skee ball but it was delayed by two days and aside from that one crabby day he was good.

So are we now suddenly considered inconsistent? We pride ourselves on being consistent but we allow ourselves room to change our mind about things. However did we change our mind for the wrong reasons? I don't know. We did decide that skee ball is not the reward to use because he needs something more instant than a whole week of working toward one big thing. Smaller rewards each day vs one big one at the end of the week, cause he's only three. So there you have it.
Parenting Grade... B for a solid effort but needs improvement.


Sister Honey Bunch said...

I don't think you gave in to your guilt. Giving in would be feeling bad that the daycare family said you couldn't talk to your child because he was too upset after Jim did. Then picking him up and taking him to skee ball to make up for his bad day.

Relax. Let the boy play skee ball this weekend with Aunt Honey Bunch.

Ashlee said...

Nobody likes yelling at their kids. And I don't think it's guilt so much as we all want to make sure that our kids realize we love them to pieces even if we do get angry with them at times. So, we yell and then we give in. I have a hard time not crumbling underneath the tears of my kid too. The joys of motherhood huh?

Sister Big said...

With a smile like that who could help but give 'em what he wants? He'll be fine, or he'll end up in therapy with everybody else's kids whose moms were mean and yelled at them. Fuhgetaboutit!

Maggie H said...

Sweetie, you ain't consistent. You gotta get tough, or those two boys will run you ragged. You talk to much about his misbehavior. Say your piece, calmly, and follow through on what you say. You bargain too much and second guess yourself too much.

Check out this blog, find the posts from the beginning and start reading! Lol. Buckle your seat belt. :)

Sister Sassy said...

Thanks everyone. And Maggie, we are incredibly consistent-this was out of the ordinary which is why I blogged about it. But thats for the site, I'll be sure to check it out.

btw, I also pick my battles too lol. There has to be some battle picking.

Anonymous said...

I think you might be right, having a week long goal might be too much for a 3 yo for daily behavior. We live and learn as parents. These munchkins didn't come with a training manual ;) Don't be so hard on yourself!

Rising Rainbow said...

just a thought, but is it a possibility that he is dyslexic?

I am teaching my granddaughter how to ride horses and we go through that with her. One day she gets something totally and then all of a sudden it's like she's never seen it before. I can remember when she was small she would do the same things about getting dressed and like you said wanting to put both legs in the same hoole. She is dyslexic.

Sister Honey Bunch said...

I think with Kindred it's just a matter of being distracted. He does it right when he takes the time to focus. But if he's tired, rushed, distracted by a toy/book/movie then he's half-hearted about it.

Sounds like my kid.

Jim said...

Ok, why you are prone to the sudden airing of our dirty laundry (and dirty living room) on the world wide web is still puzzeling to me. You are an enigma, my beautiful wife. But you do a great turning my boys into men, so I'll let this slide I guess ;)

They are just underwear and I have to say there are times as and adult male that I almost fall over putting them on, so there :P

Ashlee said...

BTW....tag! You're it!

Check out my blog for the instructions! I look forward to your post!