Thursday, March 27, 2008

So, Who the Heck Are We? Our 100th Post.

Welcome to our 100th post! (Really, it's our 101st. but Sistah HB can't count.) Just a few short months ago Honey Bunch and I were having a sad little New Years Party and I said, "Lets start a blog" and she said, "I was thinking the same thing." The next day we had a blog set up on blogger, two heads on nuns bodies and our very first post of Butt Crack at the Library. And oddly...people started reading.

All along I've said we started blogging by the seat of our pants, me more so than her. But we've done it and we've done it 100 times today! When we realized we were 100 posts old we also realized we've never really introduced ourselves. We just started blogging and let you figure out things as you went. So now we'd like to take a moment to talk about each other.

My Thoughts on Sister Sassy
For six delightful years I was the baby of our family. And then... Then came
Sister Seven followed by Sister Sassy. And they ruined it all for me.

Where I once was doted upon, now I was tripping over their stupid toys, feeling a little bit ignored and helping my dad change Sassy's nasty diapers. He couldn't bear the smell and would run out of the room leaving me there to handle the next step all by myself. And that was the beginning of my relationship with Sassy.

While she was a cute little girl, she never stopped talking. Which got on my nerves when I was trying to read my favorite Judy Blume books. Apparently she didn't care if God was there for Margaret or not. She wanted me to watch her twirl around the room on her tippy toes. I'm sure if I had been older, this would have been adorable. But I wasn't older and found the constant "Look at me, look at me" annoying.

As Sassy grew older our differences became more pronounced. She was so full of confidence that it threw me off balance. I wasn't like that. It made me jealous and I tended to smack her upside the head with the telephone when it got to me. (Actually that only happened once and I really don't remember. But she does and I'm pretty sure our mother does.)

But we also had fun. Some of my favorite memories involve laying on our parents bed on Friday nights singing songs like Faithfully by Journey. Because it was the 80's. And I was "forever yours, faithfully".

Later, I moved to Petoskey and Sassy went away to college and got married. She and Jimmy would come surprise me on weekends when I was feeling lonely. We would show off our musical talents for poor Jim and belt out our favorite girl-angst songs by Natalie Merchant and Sarah McLachlan. Because it was the 90's. And "your love is better than ice cream". (Which was really Sassy and Jim's song, but she and I did all the singing.) (And we sounded fab. ) (Here, why don't you listen to Sarah while you read the rest.) (I apologize for the extreme us of parentheses.)

Sassy is a fixer and can't stand to see someone hurting. When I was lonely, she signed me up on When I was on bed rest during my pregnancy, she came and watched movies with me. When I was dealing with postpartum depression, she encouraged me to get to a doctor and fast. She gave my son (the only child) cousins who will be his buddies for life. And she is constantly harping at me to exercise so that I will live a long and healthy life.

Sometimes having someone want to "fix" your problem can be frustrating, but the intention is always good. And it's the beauty of who Sassy is.

We have always been very different. I like vanilla, she likes chocolate. I'm a republican, she's a democrat. She's short, I'm not as short. But we have moved past those differences to acceptance. Sassy realized that a conservative republican can also care for and serve others. And I learned that a do-gooder democrat just wants peace and happiness for all.

It was a tough mountain for us to climb at times, but well worth it.

And now, 5 random things about Sister Sassy, because K Spin asked:

1. She rarely shaves her legs. Or her pits.

2. She's an extremely patient mom in the house of crazy.

3. She forgets something at my house every. single. time. she comes over.

4. She thinks she is the boss of me. And I usually do her bidding. Which drives Tom nuts.

5. She is a good singer.

Honey Bunch According to Sassy:

HB and I are 9 years apart. 9 years is a lot. When I was 7 she was 16, big difference in a lot of things there. But you wouldn't know she was 9 years older from the way we'd interact. For instance, when she was a teenager I'd find pictures of Teen Dream boys and offer them to her along with my art work to decorate her room. But the minute I'd get mad at her for something I'd go in her room and reclaim them, ripping them from her walls. Not long after, HB would stoop down to my 7 year old level and come into my room to take back whatever trinkets she'd given me. We'd fight like cats and dogs one minute then you'd find us harmonizing the Star Trek theme and talking like Scooby Doo the next.
And when my parents would leave us in her care, poor Sister 7 and I knew we were in for it. As soon as the door closed HB would be come a slave master, telling us to pick up this, do that, clean up this and so on. And if you gave her lip, watch out, she wasn't past getting physical. Apparently she didn't like the clutter and it didn't help that she didn't like us much either, lol. To get back at her we'd lock her in the basement (there was no lock on the door though) and throw down fake rubber spiders and snakes because they scared the crap out of her. I remember opening the door to find her at the bottom of the stairs, chopping up a rubber spider. Poor Charlotte.

One thing about her I always remember is how she was kind of a freak at night. She'd be laying scared in the dark not being able to sleep, so she'd come in to my room and switch beds with me, and be able to sleep unafraid. I'd wake up in her room, she'd be in mine, and I'd have no idea how I got there. She'd remind me that she asked me to switch in the middle of the night and I'd just nod sleepily. This is something odd that we shared because for some reason I'd do the same thing to her. Somehow I guess we both believed if you switched beds the fears wouldn't be able to find you. Seems like fear is a continual theme in our life.

But then Honey Bunch moved out and started living her life and I had to stay in my own bed. She and I didn't have much to do with each other during those years, we absolutely didn't see eye to eye on much of anything. We had very different ways of looking at things, especially while she was in her 20s. She was sort of a deep in to the cult at that point and spouted out much of the self righteous bull spit that was spoon fed to our congregation. I was more of a free thinker and lover of all men. My best friend was agnostic and my goal in life was to be happy, I have very different cult baggage than she does.

It wasn't until after my marriage, while she was living alone in Petoskey, that we grew into the Svengalis we are now. HB's husband likes to refer to us as each other's Svengali, which is a person who, with evil intent, manipulates another into doing what is desired. I have to say we don't often have evil intent, although try telling my mother-in-law otherwise. That's a whole different story I'm saving for another time.

Honey Bunch is always there to help in a jam to offer assistance. And because she made the magic suggestion during out marriage meltdown that kept my family intact, she gets to choose the middle name of our next child. I'm fully expecting a Grace HoneyBunch Wojdyla (which isn't my last name but almost was lol!). She always wants the best for those she loves and will tell them so, adamantly, even if they don't want to hear it. She's passionate about her beliefs and will defend them even if she's uncomfortable with it, she pretty much will stand up to anyone in my mind. Even though she says she's a push over/doormat when it comes to standing up for herself, In my eyes she seems to have always stood when it mattered. I'm not so good at that, I'm busy recovering on the floor from being wacked in the head with a phone, figuring if I played dead I'll be better off.

Sometimes I think she puts up her own roadblocks that keeps her from succeeding in the things she wants to achieve, but who doesn't sabotage. Geez, every other weekend was a battle with her when she was first Dating Tommy. She'd call me constantly telling me she didn't like him, but when it came down to it, she was just afraid.
What's important is that she frequently will sit down with herself and have a "Come To Jesus" discussion to try to kick her butt in gear or reaches out to the family and friends she trusts to do it for her. Mostly she doesn't listen to me, but she will listen to Big, and that is what matters. Being willing to look at yourself and become the person you want to be and she's always searching for that person rather than sitting and around twiddling her thumbs. Although she is a good thumb twiddler...didn't we thumb wrestle?

So what sums up Honey Bunch? Here is a story about HB that I think sums up who she is in my mind. I had this friend from 5-7th grade. She was my best friend. But suddenly we had a falling out at the end of the 7th grade school year and she made 8th grade pure hell. Oh well, I moved past it eventually. Well one day while I was in high school HB ran into that old friend and totally gave her spit about being such a mean spirited hater. And that is something I always know about her, she's fiercely protective of the ones she loves. You ought not mess with HB and her peeps or she'll give you what for, you know HB has always got your back. I will tend to try to make you see things from the other person's shoes, she will be in there with verbal fists flying. Its another way we are different but its good because sometimes I think we might balance each other out. And if we don't we just keep telling the other person what to do and leave it at that. After all, I only do what I'm told.

And now for some random things about Honey Bunch

1. shaves every day. Can't stand hair on her legs and pits at all.
2. Always has hated feet. Could NOT stand being touched by them. Except for Tommy's feet, which she will rub and kiss his.
3. Thought it was funny to hold my head under water, throw me out of the house and lock the door with my pants off, telling me I was adopted, taking smack about our dog Frisco and doesn't think its funny that she was once arrested (in her youth).
4. Is excellent at stalking (IRL and online)
5. Loves her diet coke and was the first thing she had after giving birth to Bologna.

So there we are in a nutshell. I don't know if this helped you to know us better but I think it was time to introduce ourselves. Hi, I'm Sister Sassy, this is my Sister Honey Bunch. We like to write and to pretend people want to hear what we have to say. Its been a pleasure meeting y'all.

Now, for the next 100 posts, what are some topics you'd like us to blog about? Any burning questions??

What's that? You want to comment? Just click on the itty-bitty words below that say "Gimme Some Sugar". Can you see them? Good. We can't wait to chat with you.


Valarie Lea said...

That was really informative, I feel I know yall much better know. Yall actually remind me of me and my sister Lisa, we are 7 years apart.

Burning question #1:

What was SHB arrested for?

Do yall live close to each other? It sounds like you do, but you never know.

How many of yall are there?

What are your views on the economy in relations to "global warming"?

Honey Bunch Is My Hero said...

You sisters are the best! I love your blog and am addicted to it! Keep up the great rock! :)

Sister Honey Bunch/Judi maloney said...

What was SHB arrested for?
I failed to pay a traffic ticket. Then I moved and lost the notice about how I was going to get in big trouble. I broke up with a boyfriend and forgot all about it. They didn't like that and issued a warrant for my arrest. I was pulled over for failing to use a turn signal on my way to the library. Arrested, handcuffed, mugshot, phone call.

Do yall live close to each other?
Sassy lives about 2 miles away.

How many of yall are there?
There are 8 kids in our family.

What are your views on the economy in relations to "global warming"?
Hmmm. I never considered there was a relation between the two. Interesting.

Tanya Breese said...

I always wanted a sister....good times!
Well, it's fitting that I stumbled upon your blog for the very first time, today, so now I'll know all about who you are when I read it next!

Sister Sassy said...

On the economy, I only know in reference to water. Water being a precious resource, water for life not for profit and the warming of the earth may be having an effect on access to water?? But I think that is more Globalization than warming, but i"m sure warming will come in to this issue.

Check out

And a girl I know wrote or helped to write this movie.

She's a nice girl and makes some pretty cool t-shirts.

saintseester said...

Yet again, more evidence that SHB and I are eerily similar: I was several years older than my brother and sister, and I babysat them, and was apparently quite bossy with them. I am a conservative republican (although leaning to libertarian). I, too, can't stand FEET! Ew. That right there is a coincidence that cannot be ignored. But, I was never arrested, I don't think.

Ashlee said...

Oh, but I really DO want to hear what you have to say!

Lots of excellent information here...and now I know...and knowing is half the battle.

BTW...I have two sisters. I told my older one that I hated her pretty much EVERY DAY as soon as I hit puberty. She was horrible. And my little sister was overly emotional about everything. Drove me crazy. Gotta love them!

Unknown said...

I loved reading this - makes me wish someone could give the top five things about me ... sigh - sucks being an only kid sometimes!!
ps. I hate feet too!

Anonymous said...

Ash, I'm sure HB understands your pain.

Ok Valarie, this is my answer to Global Warming on the economy. This guy was on NPR today talking about his new book.

11:00James Gustave Speth: "The Bridge at the Edge of the World" (Yale)
A leading environmentalist explains how American-style consumer capitalism harms the planet and what must be done to save the earth for future generations.

So... I haven't read it but... he says that capitalism is inherantly destructive to the environment because we are extracting its resources for gain constantly. I guess you could look at the massive building on wetlands in FL, when the cut off tops of mountains for the minerals, and other stuff I'm sure...and I took more notes but I can't read them lol. But he had realy good points and he talks about the world for his grand children and how he doesn't expect a president to do everything he says but to be a leader instead.

Of course I know you were simply being funny when you asked that so that wasn't lost on me. BUt I thought since NPR just happened to be about this very topic I'd do a better job trying to respond.

Anonymous said...

This is so great! It reminds me of my three sisters and how drastically different we all are...thank goodness for that! I can't wait to read more. Thanks for the 'tag' too!

Love you guys!


Mrs. F said...

Happy 100th post. This is very exciting!!! I just had mine earlier this week.
Cheers. Here is to 100 more!

Gardengirl414 said...

HB and Sassy, you both amuse me to no end! I love that you're both very refreshing and funny and honest and caring....I could go on & on. Congrats on 100!
As for questions....
I have a cousin who belongs to the same cult that you were raised with. So, how difficult is it to get away from it all - and how has the influence of the cult shaped you as an adult? Just wondering - my cousin's two oldest children have gone to college in Oklahoma (somehow affiliated with the cult?). And, both swear that they won't be going back to the hell at home when they're done.

Momisodes said...

Thank you for the great introduction! Congrats on your 100th post :) You're both so sweet and I love visiting you here! I was such a huge Sarah McLachlan fan too!

Beck said...

I wish I had a sister. :(

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your 100th (well, 101st) post! The intros were great, too. Can't wait to see what you'll do in the next 100...

Anonymous said...

You might have tag-teamed with dad to help with Sassy, but I tag-teamed with him to change your diapers! How's that make you feel? So, 100 posts, really? Congratulations. Reading your blog is what I look forward to every day after work. I save it to read in my pj's with my wine. Keep on truckin'. Cluck!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I'll IM Sassy and I just want her to agree with me, or offer me sympathy, and say 'hell yeah'. Instead she offers me a solution and it drives me insane. I could have gotten that from my husband. I wuv her though and I am glad she is my friend.

Anonymous said...

I can't get past the Butt Crack at the Library. I've got to go read...

Sister Sassy said...

Mrs F, Happy 100!

Gardengirl, I know we've talked about it. I think she's in a splinter. Our cult was a bit different in that if you weren't a believer we didn't want you. We'll totally go in to that in a post especially for you.

Sandy, thanks for the nice words. Sarah Rocks!

Beck, you can tell people we're your sister if you want :)

Jen, with the night before posting it ended up being like, 103 lol!

Big, you're my favorite. But don't tell HB.

Echo, I kinda suck that way sometimes. I've always been like that, don't know why. I think I just want to make things better for people. Or really, I'm trying to be helpful because I think when someone says something that I'm supposed to I guess. Like they're telling me because they want help. Maybe all the psych classes did that to me. Anyway, I'm learning, and my friends are learning to say, "you were supposed to say, 'What a bitch' when I told you that." lol

Jenni- Enjoy the butt crack.

Jen said...

What a fun post! Great getting to know you both better.

Anonymous said...

You girls have put together a fabulous blog! I LOVE it. I don't get the chance to give sugar every time, but please know that your lovely variety of topics, stories, etc - keep this busy sahm of 5 kiddos very entertained & connected to you all, and - I. LOVE. IT! :)

You may have shared already, but I'm just very curious to know... what cult did you grow up in? There are so many out there, and I was raised in one for about 4 years, myself. Just curious!

Sister Sassy said...

Mel, it was the World Wide Church of God and if you click on Tales from the Cult you'll be able to get an introduction. We'll be doing more tales shortly since it seeems ppl are clamouring for more. :)

Thanks for the nice words.

Unknown said...

I want more tales from the cult, we were promised more! Blog about that.

Blog about other dates you went on Sister(Aunt) HB

Blog about living in the dorms in college Sister(never really called you aunt) Sassy

Kim Heinecke said...

Okay, this blog is a crack up. Love it.

Unknown said...

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Both new and experienced moms will appreciate the practical, easy-to-read advice Nina shares. Tips cover the entire spectrum of chic including energizing your skin, essential fashions for your closet, staying fit with baby/toddler in tow, creating “mommy and me” happy hours, keeping the romance alive with your husband, preparing fast and fabulous meals, and managing your finances.

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Anonymous said...


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