Welcome to our 100th post! (Really, it's our 101st. but Sistah HB can't count.) Just a few short months ago Honey Bunch and I were having a sad little New Years Party and I said, "Lets start a blog" and she said, "I was thinking the same thing." The next day we had a blog set up on blogger, two heads on nuns bodies and our very first post of Butt Crack at the Library. And oddly...people started reading.
My Thoughts on Sister Sassy
For six delightful years I was the baby of our family. And then... Then came Sister Seven followed by Sister Sassy. And they ruined it all for me.
Where I once was doted upon, now I was tripping over their stupid toys, feeling a little bit ignored and helping my dad change Sassy's nasty diapers. He couldn't bear the smell and would run out of the room leaving me there to handle the next step all by myself. And that was the beginning of my relationship with Sassy.
While she was a cute little girl, she never stopped talking. Which got on my nerves when I was trying to read my favorite Judy Blume books. Apparently she didn't care if God was there for Margaret or not. She wanted me to watch her twirl around the room on her tippy toes. I'm sure if I had been older, this would have been adorable. But I wasn't older and found the constant "Look at me, look at me" annoying.
As Sassy grew older our differences became more pronounced. She was so full of confidence that it threw me off balance. I wasn't like that. It made me jealous and I tended to smack her upside the head with the telephone when it got to me. (Actually that only happened once and I really don't remember. But she does and I'm pretty sure our mother does.)
But we also had fun. Some of my favorite memories involve laying on our parents bed on Friday nights singing songs like Faithfully by Journey. Because it was the 80's. And I was "forever yours, faithfully".
Later, I moved to Petoskey and Sassy went away to college and got married. She and Jimmy would come surprise me on weekends when I was feeling lonely. We would show off our musical talents for poor Jim and belt out our favorite girl-angst songs by Natalie Merchant and Sarah McLachlan. Because it was the 90's. And "your love is better than ice cream". (Which was really Sassy and Jim's song, but she and I did all the singing.) (And we sounded fab. ) (Here, why don't you listen to Sarah while you read the rest.) (I apologize for the extreme us of parentheses.)
Sassy is a fixer and can't stand to see someone hurting. When I was lonely, she signed me up on match.com. When I was on bed rest during my pregnancy, she came and watched movies with me. When I was dealing with postpartum depression, she encouraged me to get to a doctor and fast. She gave my son (the only child) cousins who will be his buddies for life. And she is constantly harping at me to exercise so that I will live a long and healthy life.
Sometimes having someone want to "fix" your problem can be frustrating, but the intention is always good. And it's the beauty of who Sassy is.
We have always been very different. I like vanilla, she likes chocolate. I'm a republican, she's a democrat. She's short, I'm not as short. But we have moved past those differences to acceptance. Sassy realized that a conservative republican can also care for and serve others. And I learned that a do-gooder democrat just wants peace and happiness for all.
It was a tough mountain for us to climb at times, but well worth it.
And now, 5 random things about Sister Sassy, because K Spin asked:
1. She rarely shaves her legs. Or her pits.
2. She's an extremely patient mom in the house of crazy.
3. She forgets something at my house every. single. time. she comes over.
4. She thinks she is the boss of me. And I usually do her bidding. Which drives Tom nuts.
5. She is a good singer.
HB and I are 9 years apart. 9 years is a lot. When I was 7 she was 16, big difference in a lot of things there. But you wouldn't know she was 9 years older from the way we'd interact. For instance, when she was a teenager I'd find pictures of Teen Dream boys and offer them to her along with my art work to decorate her room. But the minute I'd get mad at her for something I'd go in her room and reclaim them, ripping them from her walls. Not long after, HB would stoop down to my 7 year old level and come into my room to take back whatever trinkets she'd given me. We'd fight like cats and dogs one minute then you'd find us harmonizing the Star Trek theme and talking like Scooby Doo the next.
One thing about her I always remember is how she was kind of a freak at night. She'd be laying scared in the dark not being able to sleep, so she'd come in to my room and switch beds with me, and be able to sleep unafraid. I'd wake up in her room, she'd be in mine, and I'd have no idea how I got there. She'd remind me that she asked me to switch in the middle of the night and I'd just nod sleepily. This is something odd that we shared because for some reason I'd do the same thing to her. Somehow I guess we both believed if you switched beds the fears wouldn't be able to find you. Seems like fear is a continual theme in our life.
But then Honey Bunch moved out and started living her life and I had to stay in my own bed. She and I didn't have much to do with each other during those years, we absolutely didn't see eye to eye on much of anything. We had very different ways of looking at things, especially while she was in her 20s. She was sort of a deep in to the cult at that point and spouted out much of the self righteous bull spit that was spoon fed to our congregation. I was more of a free thinker and lover of all men. My best friend was agnostic and my goal in life was to be happy, I have very different cult baggage than she does.
It wasn't until after my marriage, while she was living alone in Petoskey, that we grew into the Svengalis we are now. HB's husband likes to refer to us as each other's Svengali, which is a person who, with evil intent, manipulates another into doing what is desired. I have to say we don't often have evil intent, although try telling my mother-in-law otherwise. That's a whole different story I'm saving for another time.
Honey Bunch is always there to help in a jam to offer assistance. And because she made the magic suggestion during out marriage meltdown that kept my family intact, she gets to choose the middle name of our next child. I'm fully expecting a Grace HoneyBunch Wojdyla (which isn't my last name but almost was lol!). She always wants the best for those she loves and will tell them so, adamantly, even if they don't want to hear it. She's passionate about her beliefs and will defend them even if she's uncomfortable with it, she pretty much will stand up to anyone in my mind. Even though she says she's a push over/doormat when it comes to standing up for herself, In my eyes she seems to have always stood when it mattered. I'm not so good at that, I'm busy recovering on the floor from being wacked in the head with a phone, figuring if I played dead I'll be better off.
Sometimes I think she puts up her own roadblocks that keeps her from succeeding in the things she wants to achieve, but who doesn't sabotage. Geez, every other weekend was a battle with her when she was first Dating Tommy. She'd call me constantly telling me she didn't like him, but when it came down to it, she was just afraid.
So what sums up Honey Bunch? Here is a story about HB that I think sums up who she is in my mind. I had this friend from 5-7th grade. She was my best friend. But suddenly we had a falling out at the end of the 7th grade school year and she made 8th grade pure hell. Oh well, I moved past it eventually. Well one day while I was in high school HB ran into that old friend and totally gave her spit about being such a mean spirited hater. And that is something I always know about her, she's fiercely protective of the ones she loves. You ought not mess with HB and her peeps or she'll give you what for, you know HB has always got your back. I will tend to try to make you see things from the other person's shoes, she will be in there with verbal fists flying. Its another way we are different but its good because sometimes I think we might balance each other out. And if we don't we just keep telling the other person what to do and leave it at that. After all, I only do what I'm told.
And now for some random things about Honey Bunch
1. shaves every day. Can't stand hair on her legs and pits at all.
2. Always has hated feet. Could NOT stand being touched by them. Except for Tommy's feet, which she will rub and kiss his.
3. Thought it was funny to hold my head under water, throw me out of the house and lock the door with my pants off, telling me I was adopted, taking smack about our dog Frisco and doesn't think its funny that she was once arrested (in her youth).
4. Is excellent at stalking (IRL and online)
5. Loves her diet coke and was the first thing she had after giving birth to Bologna.
So there we are in a nutshell. I don't know if this helped you to know us better but I think it was time to introduce ourselves. Hi, I'm Sister Sassy, this is my Sister Honey Bunch. We like to write and to pretend people want to hear what we have to say. Its been a pleasure meeting y'all.
Now, for the next 100 posts, what are some topics you'd like us to blog about? Any burning questions??
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