Thursday, January 24, 2008

A Match.Com Success Story

I was not a Sex in the City kind of girl when I was single. I would go out to bars with my friends, but I was not overly impressed with what I saw. I can tell you all about slim pickings. I was not surrounded by the cream of the crop.

Instead, I got hit on by 35+ year-old men (Good start. My age group) who behaved as though they were still frat boys. (Grow up. Please.) I had weirdos come up to me and say things like "Your legs must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind all night". (Stupid, much?)

Married men hit on me. True story: I had one guy lie and tell me he was divorced. He was my TV advertising rep and I had no reason to suspect that he was a big, fat, hairy liar. So of course I had a make-out session with him in the parking lot (I know. Sorry mom.), only to meet his wife one day a few years later and learn they had never even been separated. Oh, the joys of dating.

I tried singles groups in churches. That didn't work out so well for me. My final experience was when the Singles Club went bowling. Now, I don't know about you, but when I bowl (which I try to never do) I eat wings and drink a beer. Only with this group I ate wings, drank half of a beer, and got judged, scolded for being a bad example and publicly embarrassed. WWJD? Not that, thank you.

Frustrated, I gave up. Sassy eventually grew tired of my moaning and groaning about my state of affairs (or lack thereof) and signed me up on match.com. Oh yes she did. This is my picture she used for the profile.


My requirements (I even wrote a list which I still have to this day) were that the man I married had to be Patient (because, well, of me), Persistent (I'd been hurt and was very scared of jumping back in), Confident, Friendly (with lots of friends), Christian, Responsible, Love his Parents and be Good Looking.

The first message I received sounded promising. This man was attractive, successful and interesting. We emailed back and forth a few times. So that I could learn more about him, he sent me a link to his website. It was a cool way to check out his work and see pictures of him and his friends. I guess I passed some kind of creepy test, because he sent me a code to get into a "special room" on his site. Hello Ugly Naked Pictures. Forever burned into my memory (and Sassy's). I hit delete and crossed him off my list.

The next guy was a computer something-or-other at the library AND he was in a band. Now how hot is that-he reads, he's smart and he's IN A BAND ya'll? We planned a date, but "Mike's" car broke down and he didn't know when he would be able to get it fixed. I'm not shallow but... Strike One. Then he opened up about his divorce and the bitterness and anger came spewing forth. Strike Two. Then, I went to see his band play and finally meet him in person. He was cute. He looked good when he played. I still got a funny vibe. Strike Three, and you are out.

Finally, one evening I opened up my email and discovered the funniest guy I had communicated with thus far. He made me laugh. He seemed sincere. He was cute. I married him.

We wrote each other for about three weeks before actually meeting. During those three weeks we also spoke on the phone (he has a great phone voice. I still tell him that) and I stood him up about three or four times. But, who's counting?

Tuesday, November 7, 2000
Subject: Match.com--you've got mail: Hello
From Tom
:
Hello there...responding to your ad. Of course there are men in Northern Michigan. I just moved to Traverse City a few months ago and was wondering myself if there were any women up here! I am 38 years old, college educated, single with no children. I love the outdoors--biking, golf, sailing, water and snow skiing or just hanging out at the beach. I have a GREAT sense of humor, enjoy dining out or cooking in,catching a movie or just staying at home relaxing listening to music and reading a good book. I hope to hear back from you.......Tom


I can't find my email back to Tom, but I must have responded with a request for his picture. I'm sh
allow like that I guess. So he sent one with absolutely no comment in his email. I figured he was annoyed by my short "Picture Please" comment to him. But I opened up the attachment and thought "Hey there fella. How you doin'?".
Again, being a little short on words, I sent back my response:

Tuesday, November 7, 2000
Subject: Re: Match.com--you've got mail: Hello
From Sister Honey Bunch
Cute
(Yep. That's all I wrote.)

Wenesday, November 8, 2000
Subject: Re: Match.com--you've got mail: Hello
From Tom:

Hello...not sure if your one word response is good or bad, but am sure you will give me a more detailed response in time. Anyway, why did you move toTC from Petoskey? It's beautiful up there as well, but I think that there is more here to do. You must have some more questions for me---fire away!Looking forward to hearing back from you. Tom

(Now, is my Tommy not the nicest man? I am fairly certain I was on his Strike One list.)

Wednesday November 8, 2000
From Sister Honey Bunch

Subject: Hey Tom!
The one word response was complete and to the point. You're cute. (Rude, thy name is Sister HB)
I've been pretty busy today with very little energy, so I wasn't able to write much more than that. I stayed up until 4:30am to watch the election and I am TIRED! Wow. What a race.
I moved to Petoskey 3 years ago to become the Marketing Director of a high-end retirement community. I absolutely loved my job, but I decided I wanted to go back to school. I knew I couldn't continue in my position and go take classes at the same time because one or the other would suffer.

I decided to move to TC because I could find a marketing job making decent money with fewer responsibilities allowing me to go to school (at night) and not stress myself out. It was very hard to move here because I was so attached to my residents, and my house, and my friends, etc. and because change is kind of hard. However, I am so happy here. It is the best thing I could have done.

Now, Tommy Boy, why are you in TC? What's your story?

Wednesday, November 8, 2000
From Tom
Subject: Hey Tom!
Hello Judi. What's my story? Well, I would consider myself to be an honest, open, intelligent and nice guy. You don't have to take my word for it---all my friends would tell you that.

Yes I have many friends
---in the past we have gone on vacations and trips together etc. and always have a great time.


(This is relevant as I dated many freaks who for some reason didn't have friends. My profile specified that if a guy wanted to contact me, he must have them. Otherwise, don't waste your time and mine. Remember my single internet friends, there is something detrimentally wrong with a man who doesn't have a friend.)

I moved to TC because it has always been my dream to live up north. It was kind of hard myself to leave the Detroit area as all my friends and family live there. Most of my friends are married now and are having kids, so their lives are quite busy.

Yeah--- I stayed up late myself and going to bed pretty early. So what do you like to do? turn on/offs? Do you enjoy the outdoors? traveling? dining out? Okay--enough questions for now. Looking forward to hearing back from you. I'm going to bed! Tom

So, Tommy had my heart a-going pitter-patter. I really liked him. So what did I do? I put him to the test. I had my girlfriend Joy sign up with match.com and hit on him. They wrote back and forth a couple times, but he had a big ol' crush on me and didn't pursue anything further. That's my boy.

We made plans to meet for dinner. I stood him up. And not in a very nice way either. Oh no, I was too chicken. I called the restaurant where we would be meeting and asked the hostess to let him know I was unable to make our date. How awful was I? And yet, he came back for more.

Sunday, November 19, 2000

From Sister Honey Bunch
Subject: sounds good to me...
Listen Judi---I totally understand. By the way, my phone number is xxx-xxxx. Of course I still want to hook up with you. You seem like a fun person and please don't feel bad that you blew me off!!!! I am a very patient and persistent person and am looking forward to meeting you. I'll give you a call this week before I leave for Downstate. And I certainly don't think that you are a "shit" . Actually, I appreciate your effort to contact me and there is no need for any apology. Will talk to you this week. Tom

Reading that right now is making me all weepy. He was (and still is) exactly what I needed. I have more to share. And I will later. But right now, I must go snuggle with my fella.

What's that? You want to comment? Just click on the itty-bitty words below that say "Gimme Some Sugar". Can you see them? Good. We can't wait to chat with you.



24 comments:

Ashlee said...

It cannot seriously be Thursday already where you are! Holy cow! It's Wednesday night here. Crazy!

Anyway...cute story. I did a dating website for ONE month. Humorously enough, my hubby was on there as well, but he didn't fit my very SPECIFIC criteria at the time. I was pretty hypocritical about a few things, and rather bitter about a previous relationship, so it probably was not a great idea for me to fork out money looking for guys (which I thought were the devil anyway). Sigh. So glad things worked out for you guys. Even if you were a sh@t. :0)

Ashlee said...

BTW...I personally did not think you were that bad word I just posted....it was just in your blog. Just for clarification. I'm assuming you already knew that...but again...clarification. LOL :0)

Sister Honey Bunch said...

I published too soon. Although it is officially Thursday at 12:13 AM.

Hey, I knew what you meant. And I was one!

Sister Big said...

I'm glad you posted early. The sound of the snowplow outside for and eternity woke me and now I can't sleep so todays post is giving me something to do. I agree. You were a sh*t and Tom's the best.

Sister Sassy said...

You WERE a total Sh*T lol! I'm glad it all worked out for the better in the end. Good thing Tommy is so persistent or you'd be eating leftovers at my house and begging to babysitting my kids on Saturday nights.

Wade Huntsinger said...

Interesting, although it is never cool to stand someone up, especially on purpose. I never had to date much, Tc and I met during high school and have been together ever since. 25 years of marriage is coming up in February.

DanceintheRain said...

I think it's great that you guys finally worked out! I know a few people who have been successful like you on sites like match.com. Internet dating isn't creepy anymore. Actually, where would we be without the Internet these days?!

Ashley said...

Good for you!
Internet dating isn't as weird or as rigged for failure as a lot of people make it out to be. Of course you have to be smart about it, though.

My hubby and I met online became best friends for about 7 yrs, started a long distance relationship, finally met in person and got married 4 months later.

aureille said...

What a great story! I am glad I got to hear it. How romantic :)

Meg said...

Wow, what a great story! Can't wait to hear the rest.
As a single internet dater I fell your pain with the weirdos. It makes me feel somewhat hopeful that there are people out there other than those on the commercials that have a success story!

saintseester said...

That is seriously, sweet and COOL! My cousin met the man of her dreams over the internet, too.

And the right one is worth the wait, dontcha think?

Michele said...

Aw! I LOVE these kinds of stories. The happily ever afters.

tired mom said...

So I want to know how sister sassy signed you up. I would love to sign my brother up. Should he be agreeable firts?? He deserves a good woman after the B**** he was married to.

tired mom said...

I love seeing typos after I hit publish!!!

Sister Sassy said...

I've also signed my mother up too lol. Just go in and fill out the info on behalf of your brother- upload his picture...maybe help him write a good profile the submit. supply him with his username and password so he can "wink" at the chicks he likes. But I think they are making you pay now, back in the day simply being a woman got you in free so you would have to front some $$ for him.

echolily said...

Great love story. My husband and I met on the internet, though it wasn't a dating site. He was my guildmaster in an online Lord of the Rings game. LOL :)

Brother Jimmy Eat World said...

I love Sister Honey Bunch and it really was meant to be. You two are perfect for each other. I can't even imagine you with someone else or imagine Brother Tom with someone else. And I always enjoy spending time with you two!

And I realize now that you do tell a good story. But I bet you get that from your Dad. Man can that guy tell a story. To this day I still vividly remember him telling me a story about a dryer and two washing machines in his yard. If ANYONE else was telling that story I would have checked out from the first sentence, but not him.

Jen said...

My husband and I are a Yahoo Personals online dating success story! (I dropped out of match.com after a creepy ex-boyfriend starting e-stalking me.) I tried online dating for many of the same reasons you did, and it was a great experience. Congratulations on finding your perfect match!

Lisa xo said...

I love this story!! I think I've heard bits and pieces from you but reading the whole thing gives me warm fuzzies!

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