A Match.Com Success Story

I was not a Sex in the City kind of girl when I was single. I would go out to bars with my friends, but I was not overly impressed with what I saw. I can tell you all about slim pickings. I was not surrounded by the cream of the crop.

Instead, I got hit on by 35+ year-old men (Good start. My age group) who behaved as though they were still frat boys. (Grow up. Please.) I had weirdos come up to me and say things like "Your legs must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind all night". (Stupid, much?)

Married men hit on me. True story: I had one guy lie and tell me he was divorced. He was my TV advertising rep and I had no reason to suspect that he was a big, fat, hairy liar. So of course I had a make-out session with him in the parking lot (I know. Sorry mom.), only to meet his wife one day a few years later and learn they had never even been separated. Oh, the joys of dating.

I tried singles groups in churches. That didn't work out so well for me. My final experience was when the Singles Club went bowling. Now, I don't know about you, but when I bowl (which I try to never do) I eat wings and drink a beer. Only with this group I ate wings, drank half of a beer, and got judged, scolded for being a bad example and publicly embarrassed. WWJD? Not that, thank you.

Frustrated, I gave up. Sassy eventually grew tired of my moaning and groaning about my state of affairs (or lack thereof) and signed me up on match.com. Oh yes she did. This is my picture she used for the profile.

My requirements (I even wrote a list which I still have to this day) were that the man I married had to be Patient (because, well, of me), Persistent (I'd been hurt and was very scared of jumping back in), Confident, Friendly (with lots of friends), Christian, Responsible, Love his Parents and be Good Looking.

The first message I received sounded promising. This man was attractive, successful and interesting. We emailed back and forth a few times. So that I could learn more about him, he sent me a link to his website. It was a cool way to check out his work and see pictures of him and his friends. I guess I passed some kind of creepy test, because he sent me a code to get into a "special room" on his site. Hello Ugly Naked Pictures. Forever burned into my memory (and Sassy's). I hit delete and crossed him off my list.

The next guy was a computer something-or-other at the library AND he was in a band. Now how hot is that-he reads, he's smart and he's IN A BAND ya'll? We planned a date, but "Mike's" car broke down and he didn't know when he would be able to get it fixed. I'm not shallow but... Strike One. Then he opened up about his divorce and the bitterness and anger came spewing forth. Strike Two. Then, I went to see his band play and finally meet him in person. He was cute. He looked good when he played. I still got a funny vibe. Strike Three, and you are out.

Finally, one evening I opened up my email and discovered the funniest guy I had communicated with thus far. He made me laugh. He seemed sincere. He was cute. I married him.

We wrote each other for about three weeks before actually meeting. During those three weeks we also spoke on the phone (he has a great phone voice. I still tell him that) and I stood him up about three or four times. But, who's counting?

Tuesday, November 7, 2000
Subject: Match.com--you've got mail: Hello
From Tom:
Hello there...responding to your ad. Of course there are men in Northern Michigan. I just moved to Traverse City a few months ago and was wondering myself if there were any women up here! I am 38 years old, college educated, single with no children. I love the outdoors--biking, golf, sailing, water and snow skiing or just hanging out at the beach. I have a GREAT sense of humor, enjoy dining out or cooking in,catching a movie or just staying at home relaxing listening to music and reading a good book. I hope to hear back from you.......Tom

I can't find my email back to Tom, but I must have responded with a request for his picture. I'm shallow like that I guess. So he sent one with absolutely no comment in his email. I figured he was annoyed by my short "Picture Please" comment to him. But I opened up the attachment and thought "Hey there fella. How you doin'?".
Again, being a little short on words, I sent back my response:

Tuesday, November 7, 2000
Subject: Re: Match.com--you've got mail: Hello
From Sister Honey Bunch
Cute
(Yep. That's all I wrote.)

Wenesday, November 8, 2000
Subject: Re: Match.com--you've got mail: Hello
From Tom:
Hello...not sure if your one word response is good or bad, but am sure you will give me a more detailed response in time. Anyway, why did you move toTC from Petoskey? It's beautiful up there as well, but I think that there is more here to do. You must have some more questions for me---fire away!Looking forward to hearing back from you. Tom

(Now, is my Tommy not the nicest man? I am fairly certain I was on his Strike One list.)

Wednesday November 8, 2000
From Sister Honey Bunch
Subject: Hey Tom!
The one word response was complete and to the point. You're cute. (Rude, thy name is Sister HB) I've been pretty busy today with very little energy, so I wasn't able to write much more than that. I stayed up until 4:30am to watch the election and I am TIRED! Wow. What a race.
I moved to Petoskey 3 years ago to become the Marketing Director of a high-end retirement community. I absolutely loved my job, but I decided I wanted to go back to school. I knew I couldn't continue in my position and go take classes at the same time because one or the other would suffer.

I decided to move to TC because I could find a marketing job making decent money with fewer responsibilities allowing me to go to school (at night) and not stress myself out. It was very hard to move here because I was so attached to my residents, and my house, and my friends, etc. and because change is kind of hard. However, I am so happy here. It is the best thing I could have done.

Now, Tommy Boy, why are you in TC? What's your story?

Wednesday, November 8, 2000
From Tom
Subject: Hey Tom!
Hello Judi. What's my story? Well, I would consider myself to be an honest, open, intelligent and nice guy. You don't have to take my word for it---all my friends would tell you that.

Yes I have many friends ---in the past we have gone on vacations and trips together etc. and always have a great time.

(This is relevant as I dated many freaks who for some reason didn't have friends. My profile specified that if a guy wanted to contact me, he must have them. Otherwise, don't waste your time and mine. Remember my single internet friends, there is something detrimentally wrong with a man who doesn't have a friend.)

I moved to TC because it has always been my dream to live up north. It was kind of hard myself to leave the Detroit area as all my friends and family live there. Most of my friends are married now and are having kids, so their lives are quite busy.

Yeah--- I stayed up late myself and going to bed pretty early. So what do you like to do? turn on/offs? Do you enjoy the outdoors? traveling? dining out? Okay--enough questions for now. Looking forward to hearing back from you. I'm going to bed! Tom

So, Tommy had my heart a-going pitter-patter. I really liked him. So what did I do? I put him to the test. I had my girlfriend Joy sign up with match.com and hit on him. They wrote back and forth a couple times, but he had a big ol' crush on me and didn't pursue anything further. That's my boy.

We made plans to meet for dinner. I stood him up. And not in a very nice way either. Oh no, I was too chicken. I called the restaurant where we would be meeting and asked the hostess to let him know I was unable to make our date. How awful was I? And yet, he came back for more.

Sunday, November 19, 2000
From Sister Honey Bunch
Subject: sounds good to me...
Listen Judi---I totally understand. By the way, my phone number is xxx-xxxx. Of course I still want to hook up with you. You seem like a fun person and please don't feel bad that you blew me off!!!! I am a very patient and persistent person and am looking forward to meeting you. I'll give you a call this week before I leave for Downstate. And I certainly don't think that you are a "shit" . Actually, I appreciate your effort to contact me and there is no need for any apology. Will talk to you this week. Tom

Reading that right now is making me all weepy. He was (and still is) exactly what I needed. I have more to share. And I will later. But right now, I must go snuggle with my fella.

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