Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I'm a Sucky Friend DOT com

I was minding my own business last night getting ready for bed. I tidied things up, turned off the lights, forgot to turn down the heat (sorry Tom!), washed my face and checked my email. Bad move. Really bad. Because Sister Big decided to take it upon herself to let me know that I am indeed a crappy friend. Isn't she just the nicest thing? Unfortunately, she's right.

She was referring to my friend Joy who I became friends with about 13 years ago. I was still single then and she and I spent a lot of time taking relaxing vacations (really, she is the best vacation partner EVAH), going to movies and concerts, prowling for single men and doing the tour of churches searching for the right fit.

But then I moved up north, got married and had a kid. While I struggled with my postpartum depression, I went back to work full time. When I walked through my front door at the end of the day, I hibernated with my glass of wine and People magazine.

Through all of this my girlfriends remained kind and loyal and patient. Especially Joy. Because that's how she rolls.

Joy is funny, kind, pretty and smart. She serves on the local school board even though she doesn't have children of her own yet. She is president of a successful company that develops gorgeous neighborhoods. She is confident and capable. She is generous and can play a mean game of volley ball. And sometimes I forget that she also has needs.

I made a resolution to her this year to be a better friend and I have failed miserably. And she told on me to Sister Big when they ran into each other at Walgreens. And Sister Big got all over my case. Because apparently that is, and always will be, her job.

But Joy's not the only one who suffers from my crappy-friend syndrome. I'm an equal opportunity neglecter. I sometimes have a hard time making myself go out with my girlfriends. And it's not because I don't have fun. I always do. It's not because I don't love them. I adore them. It's usually because I want to hang with Tom and Logan. Or I'm feeling lazy and want to watch American Idol. But I need to remember I'm not just a mom and a wife (or a tv-aholic). I'm a sister and a friend and those roles are very important too.

So, Sister Big? Shut up, I'm going to call Joy and slop some sugar on her. And not because you said to, but because she deserves it.

Now here's a song from my girl Natalie dedicated to all my girls. Because I heart you. (Especially you.)



What's that? You want to comment? Just click on the itty-bitty words below that say "Gimme Some Sugar". Can you see them? Good. We can't wait to chat with you.

14 comments:

Sister Sassy said...

Good post. what matters now is that you start putting in the effort, even if it's just an email here and there. And make yourself go out. I'm the same way, it's called home body. But going out is SO good for our mental health and happiness. I'm convinced. We need girlfriends. Sigh... I miss mine.

Sister Honey Bunch said...

Dude. I'm chopped liver? Sheesh.

Ashlee said...

I'm a home body too. I love my girls nights, but I just love to be home. I go on trips and all I can think about is how nice it will be when I get home. Pathetic huh? But, I have realized that friends make my life richer and happier. Girls I know I can turn to for help. So, I've started trying to put myself out there more. It's been so good poking my head out of my little turtle shell. :0)
And, by the way, I love that song. Thanks for the tunes!

Anonymous said...

WOW! I didn't know all I needed to do was to tattle to your big sister and *POOF* I get some feedback from my long lost friend Judi. You don't have to come to Kzoo to communicate (even though it would be nice) but a phone call or email once in a while would be nice. Thanks big sis for setting little sis straight and maybe we all will get a little lov'in from Judi every once in a while.

I haven't done this before so I'm hoping I do this right.

Joy

fishwithoutbicycle said...

At least you recognise and own up to it and plan to do something about it. That makes you a pretty good friend, albeit with a few lazy days :-)

I have those too. Sometimes all I want to do is lounge on the sofa, but I force myself out.

amanda said...

I have a friend that I need to contact, like pronto. I hate that I've lost touch with her.

Sister Honey Bunch said...

Woo Hoo! It's Joy in da house!

Sandy C. said...

I loved reading this post. I too suffer from crappy friend syndrome. Sometimes it's so hard to peel myself from the comforts of home. I'm glad I'm not alone. Hope you and Joy can reconnect soon :)

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

I think the balancing act is very tough. And, I bet everybody involved understands that.

kspin said...

I think I have some women to call and beg for forgiveness! :) Thanks for reminding me about my great friends...and sisters!!!

Sister Big said...

The problems is that HB is so darn popular! Everybody wants to hang with her, or if we can't hang with her, at least throw us an email once in awhile. Right Joy? Right Paula? Right Joanie? Right Phyllis? Right all of HB's fan club?
And it's not so much that it is my job to BOSS you around, but why should I have to hear about how much you suck? Of course, I guess you did the same for me earlier today didn't you? We both suck but in such different ways!

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

I definitely suffer from homebody syndrome, too. My best friend from college now moved back to MI and I don't see her nearly often enough. And the worst part is I become even more of an introvert as time goes by. And I love this song by Natalie!

janethesane said...

I could have written this post except I do not have a sister I could refer to as 'big' without a severe butt kicking and I loathe American Idol, otherwise we are twinners. I need to try harder.

sogratefultobemormon.wordpress.com said...

i love friends who feel like close sisters! just love em. best to you, kathleen