Working Parent VS Stay Home Parent

Picture above pretty much sums up my weekend

I know this can be a touchy topic for some, but this isn't what you think. Just keep reading. Ok, I've done both. I'm currently a working mom and I was a Stay Home Mom (SAHM) for a year. And let me tell you it is SO much harder, at least for me, to be a stay home parent. I mean, working full time has a lot of struggles, don't get me wrong. But working almost seems like a vacation sometimes. Now granted I don't do grueling work that requires me to be on my feet 8 hours a day, so please keep in mind I'm just speaking for myself, a woman who works an office type job. This is just the difference between the two worlds as I experienced it.

When you stay home you have someone hanging on you every second of every minute of every hour of every day looking to you to meet all of their needs. It is exhausting to be utterly responsible for every whim and desire of a little one.

And I don't fall all over myself spoiling them and giving them whatever they want. But I do fall all over myself mediating arguments, wiping noses, getting them dressed and undressed, trying to keep them occupied with something other than the TV in my small condo, keeping them out of the puddles and getting them to and from the car with both boots still on. They demand constant attention and if you have kids like mine they are very loud and rambunctious from daybreak until they talk themselves to sleep at night (which Kiki does).

And let me say that my kids are very good kids, I get nothing but glowing reports from daycare, but they have tons of energy and they wear.me.out. I don't care how many people work under you, how much you're responsible for how many deadlines you have. They cannot be more demanding than two young kids. And at least you can go to the bathroom whenever you want to without little eyes prying or hands trying to open the door.

Now obviously I'm not a stay home mom anymore, but every other weekend I feel like one in the sense I'm mostly on my own that entire weekend. JimmyEW works from when they get up, till time for me to go to bed and is gone the next morning before sunrise. I know its grueling for him, (if you want to feel sorry for him instead of me you can read about his working weekends here). But staying home is exhausting for me in a whole different way.

And this is why its so exhausting. Kiki talks ALL.THE.TIME. and when he isn't talking or singing he's meowing...or cock-a-doodle-do-ing. God love him. And Boogs, well, he's two. Need I say more? Not old enough to talk well, too young to do a lot on his own, but wanting to be just like Kiki or Daddy and do everything. Usually the outcome is him going slack and screaming on the floor.

I deal with his freak outs in stride but it was way more fun last weekend at the mall when I became the lady people look at and whisper "she should spank that kid". If you'd been in our little mall you would have witnessed me walking with a big smile on my face and a screaming kicking two year old flung over my shoulder. As he screamed, I laughed and just said over and over in a sing song voice, "I Love you, I Love You."

They probably thought I was terribly permissive but oh well, I really didn't care what people thought. He was mad we were leaving the play place and we had to leave, so since I'm bigger I exerted my will on him. I am the Queen Mother after all.

On weekends like these, when I find myself awash in the stress and chaos of the being locked alone with them all day, I have a little trick to keep me sane and I'm going to share it with you.

This is my iPod, the best Mothers Day gift EVER! Thank god for this little gadget. I don't totally plug in and ignore the kids, I always have one ear bud out, but I play my calming soothing music and it helps keep me sane. I'm able to listen to the sweet sounds of Regina Spektor and sing along while meeting my children's demanding needs. And my NPR podcasts allow me to have a little adult companionship when I crave and need it most. So iPod+Stressed Sassy=Happy.

I think because I had my stint as a SAHM I am able to see how much of a better mother I am now than I was before. Because of this I get to bypass one of the biggest symptoms Working Moms have. Working Mom Guilt. Just read Sister HB's posts. I have none of that.

Sometimes when they're sick I have it, but for the most part I know they are well cared for and are having fun with two people who love them (Daycare Diva and Daddy) and when I get to chit chat, play with pictures and write blog articles in my email when I should be pretending to work. Sure I'd love to work less hours, but I really do need a full time job and high paying jobs working part time are few and far between. So, until I become a Rock Star in...something...and find myself independently wealthy, I am content.

In Summary (my 9th grade English teacher would be so proud of that transition!), my two carrier monkeys are part of why I lean toward crazy. Many days I marvel at myself for the level of patience I have with them. Mostly because I'm on the inside screaming "LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A MOMENT", but I am curiously able to remain relatively calm during my crabby moments. And when I don't, a few minutes later I'm always apologizing for being crabby and telling them I love them no matter what. Even when I'm mad and even after they have a French Fry throwing game in the car. I tell them no matter what I love them, and I think they believe me or else they'd stop being naughty.

So (oh crap, I guess Mrs. Bargo would've failed me for messing up that transition!) as much as we talk about the struggles of being a working mom, I truly truly appreciate and respect those that stay home because I couldn't hack it. If you want to read a blog of a truly amazing stay home mom that I've know and admired for four years, visit Melz Midnight Brew. She's cute, spunky and has a gaggle of adorable children she cares for daily! Or you can visit my Sister 7.

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