Tuesday, March 25, 2008

What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?

The Hotfessional posed a similar question last week: What would you do if you knew you WOULD NOT fail? That got me to thinking about Sassy pestering me back in my single days about what I would do if I wasn't afraid.

I had become a bit of a magnet for men who were in love with themselves. Which is always buckets of fun for the girls they date. (Insert big fat eye roll here)

I wanted a nice guy. I even made a list of qualities he needed to possess. (I still have that list and whip it out when I'm annoyed with my husband. I use it to remind myself why I chose him.) I was looking for someone who would treat me with love and respect. Make me laugh. Who was smart, loved his family and had good friends.

(If you are single, hear me now: If you're dating a guy who doesn't have friends, there's a reason girls. Run away fast. OK?)

After listening to me moan and groan for the one-thousand-and-tenth time about how I would die alone and lonely having never been married, Sassy debated between smacking me upside the head or making me take a hard look at myself. She asked me what I would do if I was NOT afraid. It was a great question.

I would put myself out there. I would be creative about meeting worthy men. Clearly
, I would post my profile on match.com. And that's what I did and I met Tom, got married, had a baby, and we're living happily ever after. But it was very scary for me to trust my instinct. I was afraid of getting hurt again.

I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. What would I do in every area of my life if I wasn't afraid?

I would stick my neck out and make more friends and not be afraid that they would think I wasn't funny enough, cool enough or skinny enough.

I would ski with Tom and Logan and not worry about falling on my butt or getting cold. Or feeling like the fat girl on the slope.

I would go boating with Tom's friends and wear my swimsuit. I would swim and ski and tube instead of covering up or hiding behind my kid. I would enjoying the full experience.

I would climb a mountain.

I would exercise regularly and HARD and not freak out when my heart starts to race. It is normal and does NOT mean I'm going to have a heart attack and leave my kid an orphan.

I would wait for the right job to come along instead of taking the first one offered just to get off this broken down, rickety old scary bus.

I would start a social/professional networking group for Christian working moms and not wonder what my agnostic/atheist friends and stay-at-home-mom friends think of me.

I would entertain more, volunteer more and give more.

What would you do if you were not afraid?

You can post anonymously if you wish, but I would love for you to share with us.

What's that? You want to comment? Just click on the itty-bitty words below that say "Gimme Some Sugar". Can you see them? Good. We can't wait to chat with you.


Sister Sassy said...

I don't know, let me think about it.

saintseester said...

At lot of what you said here, rings true for me. If I weren't afraid of what people thought about my body, I, too, would let go and do more outdoor activities around other people. I also toyed with the idea of going into business with a partner, but the fear of failure there is overwhelming me. So, I stay where I am.

fishwithoutbicycle said...

Hmmm, that's a tough question. I can't recall the last time I didn't do something because I was afraid, but then I don't do anything that crazy. Even if I knew I couldn't fail I still don't think I would take up sky diving :-)

Sister Sassy said...

This can't even happen until I have more time and the kids are older.

But I'd go back into theater, just community theater, and try out for plays. Maybe get voice lessons so I could even do a musical ACK! Singing in front of people would be the scariest I'd think.

Beck said...

Oh, there are MANY things I would do - I like the idea of the Christian working moms group. It would fill an important void, I think.

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

I stopped being afraid about a week ago and started writing a steamy romance novel. I'm an intelligent intellectual woman with a master degree in philosophy and yet I've always been ashamed about my obession with romance novels. Last week, after offering critiques on two novels a friend had written I decided it was finally time for me to stop caring about what other people though and just take the plunge. I'm QUITE enjoying the freedom.

As for the Working Christian Moms group I say GO FOR IT (and I'm both a SAHM and an Atheist).


Ashlee said...

First of all....start your group! It's for you...not for them! Go HB go!

Anyway...I'm truly a boring person. So, I can't think of anything. I think most of us hate getting into a bathing suit. Even my skinny friends hate doing it. We're all sefl conscious. So, I'm going to just forget about that one. :0) I do know that I worry too much about what other people think sometimes. Sometimes so much that I have little anxiety attacks. Truly pathetic. I yell at myself for it, but I can't help it. What is interesting though, is that once I've gotten to know a person, I usually don't care as much. It's always the first impression that freaks me out. I know...I'm a wierdo.
As far as my big fear, I took the leap a couple of months ago and am almost finished with my first couple of classes! 18 credits down now {with my old school credits} and only 42 to go till Associates...and then the bachelors...and then the masters...Holy cow....this is going to take forever!

Jen said...

Oooh--great post!

I would finish my book(s), find an agent, and get published.

I would quit my job.

I would have a baby with my husband. (I'm secretly terrified of what having children will do to my sense of self and my marriage.)

I would take a dance class.

Did I mention that I would quit my job?

Sister 7 said...

Fear is not from God and does hold us back from doing some of the things God wants us to do. Sometimes you have to just take that step even when you are afraid, even when you feel you will fail. If it is God's will you will succeed and have peace if not God will pick you up and put you back on the path and take you step by step to where you are suppose to go. God is a gentle and loving GOd and He defeats all fear.

Sandy C. said...

Hubby and I were a cyber couple too :)
IF I had no fear, I would travel so much more. I have an intense fear of heights and get motion sickness, so it's difficult for me to fly. But I LOVE exploring new places and cultures. Traveling would be #1 on my list.

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

I'm sick today... this is a great question, but I'm going to answer when my brain returns.

Valarie said...

So I have been pondering (golly I have been using this word alot today)on this since this morning when I first read your post.

Fun Side:

I want to not be afraid of white water rafting and not be afraid of getting hurt in the rapids.

Serious Side:

If I were not afraid, I would also quite my job.

If I were not afraid I would take on more responsibility with out the fear of disappointing others if I fail.

Soliloquy said...

I would ask my mother to get the professional help she needs. If I knew it would be successful, we might have a chance at a better relationship.

Robin said...

That's one quote that's been haunting me lately--"What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" Haunting in a motivating kind of way.

It looks like I'll start the process of returning to the workforce (umm, the paid one) in the foreseeable future. See? I can't even commit to it! But...I have these little "dream jobs" and I wonder what's keeping me from pursuing them. Fear of failure? I'm really not sure; part of it certainly has to do with not working for so long....

Anyway, good for you on your list; I'd probably add hang gliding and sky diving to mine....

Oh....and smacking "sistahs" around who CALL ME NAMES!! ;)


Sizzle said...

I'd write a book.

I'd learn to dance the flamenco.

I'd go on a road trip all by myself.

kspin said...

I would start a business with my sister. We have been talking about it for years and it is truly just the fears that are holding us back!

I would also love to speak in public without fear. That would be pretty empowering.

Sister Sassy said...

Seester-it seems like the fear of business failure is a fear of many of the people here. Sounds like you're not alone

Fish-You're my hero. Maybe I could get you to bungee jump with me?

Julie-thanks for stopping by. Maybe you can write a romance novel series featuring Philosophy professors. Each book could be a steamy new student or faculty member or janitor or FRAT HOUSE!

7- good point. :)

Sandy- I get motion sick too-there is nothing worse! But sickness meds work for me so I'm lucky.

Jen-feel better soon!
Val- I bet people would be more disappointed if you didn't follow your dreams. At least the ones that matter and love you.

Sil-don't we all wish we could be send someone to a therapist?

Robin- you'll never know till you try. Go out there when the time is right and test the waters. Start slow till your comfortable, then conquer the world!

Sizzle-three great things. Could even be combined into one great novel ;)

Kspin- speaking in public is so scary! I'm mostly lucky, I can do presentations and perform on stage. But if my boss is in the room with me when I'm on a call or talking to client, I turn into a total freak and start stuttering like Elmer Fudd!

Anonymous said...

If I wasn's afraid I would put my name out there and try to meet someone to spend time with. I would sit at the computer and finish my book. I would step out on faith and see what God had planned for my life. I am not afraid of dying just sometimes afraid of living.

Sarah said...

Bungee jumping is definitely at the top of my list. I am just terrified of breaking my neck or more possibly heavy duty whiplash that could cause permanent damage.

I'm with you on the other items! Go for it!

Cristan said...

Thanks for stopping by to say hi! Ditto on covering up while out boating...I've done that too many times!

Anonymous said...

gosh, if I wasn't always afraid, wasn't always hiding......I would wear sleeveless shirts in the summer, laugh more, entertain more, travel more, I would not obsess about everything I put in my mouth, I would go to the doctor for regular check-ups intead of avoiding now because A) do not want to get on the scale B) don't want to know if I have something serious or am any kind of sick. and that, my friends, is a sickness in itself and I realize this but I just WILL NOT go to the doctor. To live life with no fear and no hiding (my true self, my weight, my emotions) would be so incredibley liberating, I can only imagine. But I am aware this is a problem and I am trying, ever so slowly....love your blog, just found it.

Sister Sassy said...

All the rest of you, see what Anon said about fear of living life. We only have life, don't live it with regrets and don't wait till your too old to live it the way you want.

Live now, be yourself and go bungee jumping Sarah lol