Sunday, February 10, 2008

A Day in the Life of Sister Aquanetta

Sister Aquanetta is the fourth of eight children in our family. When Sassy and I asked her what she would like her sister name to be on our blog, things got all convoluted (as often happens in our family) and we sort of screwed up.

See, our family plays a really lousy game of Telephone/ Operator/Post Office/ whatever that game is called. You know the one, where one person whispers a secret into another's ear. Then that person leans over and whispers to the one sitting beside her and on and on it goes around the circle until it gets back to the original whisperer.

Anyway, Sister IV originally said she wanted to be Sister "Aquafina". Since she was once a professional hair stylist., Sassy and I assumed we heard "Aquanetta". #4 thought it was funny that we were such idiots, so she went with it. She's very easy that way.

Aquanetta has three children and a really scary-big husband who reminds me of Toby Keith. Sister Aquanetta's not scary though. She has the world's biggest heart, which shows in this post where she describes a day in her life at the nursing home.

Speaking of Sisters..

I work at Borgess Nursing Home where many retired Sisters (nuns) live. They are so very interesting. Some of them have dementia. Some don't. Its intriguing to me that they have lived their lives to serve...remain celibate..teach.. etc.

One of my favorites is a Sister from England. She is itty-bitty and I love her. She always knows me but never seems to remember my name. Her favorite thing to do is solve problems. It's her hobby.

One day she got on the subject about another lady's hat. She just kept playing with it and asking questions about it. I tuned her out for a moment or two until she began clapping her hands at me and proceeded to say (remember to use an English accent when she is quoted.)

"Sista? Sista?" I replied "Yes?"

"If this wasn't a hat, what would it be?" She continued asking me the same question all the way to the Lavy (lavatory).

"Sista.?..sista..? If the hat wasn't here..where would it be?"

Oh my goodness gracious. I tuned her out after about an hour of her constant chattering. She was washing up and getting ready for bed. Of course, she was still carrying on about that God-forsaken hat. I must have zoned out (but only for a moment) when suddenly she slapped me in the face with her wet washcloth! GROSS. Luckily it had only been used on her hands. But still.

Finally I was able to get her into bed but it was too late for me. She had already taken me there. You don't want to go there. It takes a long time to get out. I had entered her world where you find yourself forgetting how to have a normal conversation and you sound just plain dumb.

I was trying to get my marbles back in order when Sister One in the next room yelled to her roommate (Sister Two) who happened to be an amputee, "Hey someone cut your leg off last night!" Sister Two's stump appeared to be sticking out from under her blanket and it was causing a commotion.

Sister Two replied "Oh they did? I better call the police!" Then sister #1 said "You better hurry up! They might get it back for you".

I busted out laughing so hard I just couldn't contain myself. They both looked at me as though I was the crazy one. I finally had to leave the room.

Everyone at the nurses station stared at me until someone asked if I had spent the day with Sister Johnine ( the one obsessed with the hat.) Yep, she was the one to drive me over the edge.

Not every day is the same. People are unpredictable and you never know what to expect but they are always entertaining and endearing.

If I sound off the wall sisters, its one of the hazards of my job. But I wouldn't give it up. Not everyone likes to go to work. I'm lucky because I do!

Sister Aquanetta

What's that? You want to comment? Just click on the itty-bitty words below that say "Gimme Some Sugar". Can you see them? Good. We can't wait to chat with you.


Brother Jimmy Eat World said...

Very funny, sister aquanetta! So did anyone call the cops about the missing leg????

I'm sure you have a ton of other funny stories you can share, can't wait to hear more.

Wade Huntsinger said...

Certainly a wonderful story. There are two groups; children and seniors, that deserve anything that comes there way. It is nice to see someone who will just let go and be real with these folks. That happens in our job as well that you just break out from the work routine and be a real person to a real person.

PS- How many freaking kids did your mom and dad have. Godd lord.

PSS- Where is is that your Dad is at down here in SC, Just a vincity.

Anonymous said...

This was too funny!

You happened across my blog and so I am returning the favor. I am sincerely glad I did because I loved reading this.

I can absolutely promise I will be back and I'm putting you in my blogroll just to make sure! :)

Sister Sassy said...

Thanks Manners for coming by!

Wade, there are 8 children total (and 17 grand kids...I think. Don't feel like counting :)

My father is in Florance at the moment and I agree with you about seniors and kids. They deserve whatever they can get.

Sister Honey Bunch said...

But if it was a hat, where would it be?

sister Aquaneta said...

Oh Judi...Sista,,you are too funny. Thanks all for the comments and jake and fifi, I will comment more now that I am going on days.

Ashlee said...

You have more patience than I EVER will. I can barely handle my three kids...hubby, son, and daughter. 34, 8, and 2. :0)

BTW...I think Aquanetta is a GREAT name!

Sandy C. said...

That is hilarious!!! Sister Aquanetta :) I'm sure there you have a wealth of stories working there....Sounds like a lovely group :)

Jane the Sane said...

Great name Sister Aquanetta! I think it is great you have a job you love :)

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

I wonder what kind of teacher that nun might have been...her questions are actually kind of interesting to me. Yeah, I know, that's the teacher of emotionally disturbed people in me; just can't help liking odd people (or reading their blogs). Oops. Don't take that wrong, JK, HAHA

Better you than me; I'm glad you are there to be compassionate for the nuns.

Tracey said...

Holy cow... Picturing a couple of old nuns whipping washcloths and talking about hats and missing legs... :)

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

This was hysterical. And greetings to Sister Aquanetta! ;-)

amanda said...

hahaha. I love the Sister Aquanetta/Aquafina thing. :)