Thursday, February 28, 2008

I'm Getting Out of My Own Way.

I am my own worst enemy. It's true. If it wasn't for me, I would be thin. I would have more money. My skin would glow. I wouldn't have bags under my eyes. I would be more successful. I wouldn't be tired.

Why am I not all this?

Because I don't put the Doritos down when I know I should. I don't drag my fat butt off the couch and go for a walk.

I choose jobs that aren't necessarily the best fit.

I don't drink enough water, I eat too much processed crap and I forget to buy my Eucerin Q10.

I don't take chances , speak up and show my talents, close my eyes and jump.

I don't go to bed on time.

Why don't I do these things? Because I am an idiot. A lazy-ass. I am comfortable being "just enough".

I want to read that last chapter, watch Frasier and check out the latest on TMZ. Popcorn sounds good at 9:00pm and Diet coke sounds good all day long.

I don't want to make waves. I don't want to consider before deciding.

Living my dream sounds scary because what if it's just that? A dream. So instead, I do "just enough".

It's not that I'm unhappy though. I'm not miserable. I just know there is something missing. I know that I can be happier, love more deeply, help more who are hurting.

I know that there is a HUGE plan for my life and I can't keep ignoring it. I can no longer accept mediocrity when I know I was made for greater things. We ALL are made for greater things.

I'm going to take a breath, close my eyes and JUMP. I'll still enjoy my chips and diet coke with a little stoli thrown in once in awhile. But I'll also be living my life ON purpose. Because I'm 40, and it's high time.

Along the way I plan to achieve this:

And not to sound all Oprah-ish (I am certainly not a fan) but are you living your best life. Are you living on purpose?
What's that? You want to comment? Just click on the itty-bitty words below that say "Gimme Some Sugar". Can you see them? Good. We can't wait to chat with you.


Sister Sassy said...

Good post, good post. I woke up late and didn't run today and considered the fact that the doctor is going to call me with my lab results today from my physical and I might have just run out of time to get myself in order on my own and now might have to because a doctor orders it.

I feel ya!

Harmony said...

Love your post!!! I just recently took the "jump" with my sister, paving a road to healthy.

Again...great post!

Amy Beth @ Ministry So Fabulous! said...

I like this, a whole lot.

Valarie said...

At first I thought my goodness she is being really hard on herself today. We do have to live life on purpose I totally agree. Thats why I finally started exercising again last week and stopped making excuses why I couldn't. (we will see how long that last)

Ashlee said...

Do you ever wonder if the "purpose" we think we were meant for is really not the right one? That God has a completely different purpose?
Deep Ashlee

Anyway...just take it a day at a time. That's what I'm trying to do. It's hard for me though because I plan WAY ahead. There's just too much going on right now for me to be able to do that anymore. It truly stresses me out. I'm working on it.

Lisa said...

My dear HB,
How the hell did you get into my head and write my story?

I started, this week, monitoring what I put in the ol pie hole..just in hopes that I could get more comfy in my jeans.They are just so damn tight lately..I have just no willpower for diets OR exercise..but I am trying.
Running? Is the house on fire? Id never do it..I will however, go for a walk and think of you today.

Hopefully.. always hopefully--
Coastal nest

Anonymous said...

Awesome. I'm working on this one myself. And it is really cool to see so many people commenting that they are doing the same thing. It's really great to see a community that doesn't look at you like you have just gone crazy when you make such powerful statements. Especially when they believe you and support you, rather than the eye-rolling, "yeah right."

I wish you the best!


Sandy C. said...

I love this post....the entire first half describes me to the "T". I even bought myself a new bag of Doritos :(
I'm guilty of all of those things...and not living my best life.

Brother JimmyEatWorld said...

HELL YA! Preach it Sister HB!
I so agree that we are meant for more. God created us in his likeness and that means for a life of greatness and 'living to the full'. Way too many people muck around life wasting time and energy. I feel a yearning inside to do big, great, awesome things. I need to be purposeful to get there. Thanks for the reminder.

I also agree that we are our own worst critics and there is a fine line there. You are a great woman, sister, friend, mom, and blogger. Just make sure that being purposeful isn't beating yourself up when you make mistakes. ;)

sister Aquanetta said...

I got up..took Brea to school..went home and went to bed. I am so lazy, cold and unmtivated. Shame. my friend in he is only 38.

saintseester said...

Damn. Now I feel guilty for eating that cinnamon roll instead of dinner last night.

Anonymous said...

Great post.

I just wish I read it BEFORE that entire sleeve of Ritz Crackers that I just devoured.

Around The Funny Farm said...

I have found I just can not buy potato chips. I can not... I just can not stop at one chip.



Jennifer, Le Binky Bitch said...

My best life?? Goodness NO! I waste hours at a computer when I should be living a REAL life.


Good for you for doing something to truly live your best life.

Jen said...

I've been writing about this a lot yesterday. I feel the same way--I know what I want to do, I know what my purpose is (writing). But how many hours a day do I spend surfing the internet or watching TV? How much time do I dedicate to doing anything besides writing? It's so frustrating!

I'll be riding along with you, HB...

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

I'm trying. Some days I hit it; some days I don't. But hitting it some is better than not hitting it. You Go, Sister Honeybunch!

Sister Big said...

I know you'll do it because contrary to what you think about yourself, you do accomplish whatever goal you truly want to. I find it helps to take only one day at a time; who wants to do without forever? Exercise today, and eat right today. Then when you get up in the morning, do it again today. Plus, keep challenging yourself. Every year I set a new goal to do something I've never done before. Start out small and before you know it you will be climbing Everest!

Sarah said...

What a great post. I feel like it was me talking to myself. On that note, I so love my diet coke and am hearing everywhere it is working against all the improvements I am trying to make. It is just not fair. Come see my post today about "Striving for Eloquence." It is not as poignant as this one is but it is along the same lines.

Valerie said...

I totally agree that so often I sit and let life roll by without even looking for ways to get involved. It's even easier to do in the winter with all the excuses to stay home curled up on the couch with a blanket. I've to get out where God can use me!