My "TOWANDA Moment" at the Hair Salon

At the end of Fried Green Tomatoes, Kathy Bates character finally comes into her own. She has been meek and mild and has never stood up for herself. Until she starts to pull into a parking space and two young girls steal it out from under her. She's had it, and she's not taking it anymore. She rams her car into theirs. When the girls confront her she tells them she's older and has better insurance and speeds off. I love that scene.

Here, watch it for yourself.

I have always been fairly confident, but oddly enough I have a hard time standing up for myself. It's weird, I know.

The first time I remember it being a problem I was about seven. I was at the county fair and was playing one of those games where you place your coin on a number. The carnie spins a wheel and if it stops on the number you have chosen, you win the prize. I slid my coin across to the number I was sure would win me the pretty pink stuffed bunny.

But then an older kid placed his hand on my coin and moved it to a number in front of him. He did this looking me straight in the eyes and with a smile on his face. I felt rage. I felt intimidation and fear. And I walked away. Which made me feel powerless. I hated that.

Over the years, I have had instances where the fear of confrontation rendered me mute. Me. Mute! Instead of defending myself or my position, I would walk away. But that's not what I did Saturday. Saturday was different.

Sassy and I were asked to model in a hair show along with about 15 other men and women. The show was going to take place at a new brewery and it was going to be a grand opening extravaganza. The place would be packed with cute young 2o-something boys drinking their beer and checking out the runway. I'm 40. I'm married. And I'm in the middle of a 10-week challenge to make me a MILF. I ain't there yet and I wasn't looking forward to this event. But I figured I would get my up-do and then have fun with some girlfriends after strutting my stuff.

We were instructed to wear something black on top and whatever we wanted on the bottom half. I had chosen my cute new jeans, black heels and my black pashmina. I thought Sassy and I looked cute until we walked in the door.

One of Sassy's acquaintances greeted us by yelling at Sassy that her shoes were hideous and she better not be wearing them in the show. This made me livid. Then she said something very rude to me about my appearance and the clothes I was wearing. She shouted it from across the salon, causing people to turn and look at me. I was immediately self-conscious. I felt ugly and out of place and "less than". But I didn't feel weak.

I walked up to her and quietly said "You are the most offensive person I have ever met". And I walked away. Then I called my friend Laurene and asked her to come bust me out of the joint.

While I was sitting in the corner on the phone, the little princess proceeded to shout that I was being rude. It seems she had correctly assumed that I was explaining to Laurene the situation at hand. How that was rude, I'm not sure. What I am sure of, is that it made her look silly and classless.

But me, I got my power back. Because as crappy as that girl made me feel, it was one of the best things to happen because I actually stood up for myself.

Don't be messing with Sister Honey Bunch because I'll go all Kathy Bates on you. And then I'll go out with my friend for some vanilla stoli and diet coke with a side of seven-layer dip and chips.




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