Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Welcome to the World Wide Church of God

You know, HB and I never really introduced ourselves to all you beautiful readers that take pity on grace our blog each day. We just wrote a blog about someone's butt crack I saw at the library, slapped it up there and called it good. We were sort of blogging by the seat of our pants so to speak.

So now I'm going to let you in on a dirty little secret about us. The Sisters of a Different Order grew up in a cult. I'm not just using the word losely either, but a true to life cult. I know this because my beautiful friend Kim learned about us in her religion class in the section about cults. So if it's in a book, it's true, right?


Now before you all get nervous and start fidgeting in front of your computers let me put you at ease a little bit. This cult wasn't a child bride, gun stock-piling, alien worshipping virgin or goat sacrificing cult. No we were your every day Hellfire and brimstone, "the world is going to end", we're fleeing to the place of safety while y'all are left behind, pounding fists and screaming at you from the pulpit kind. WE were the God's chosen ones and we were going to be rulers in his kingdom.

But mostly I like to describe what we were as Jews for Jesus with a dash of 7th Day Adventist and a hint of Jahovah's Witness. Shake well and you got the World Wide Church of God. Or from here on out known as WCG.


Here is it's founder, say "Hi Herbert W." I hope he's not too disappointed the world didn't end.



Now I can't detail all of what our cult was like in one session so this will be an on-going series of funny and distressing stories of growing up in a church on the fringe.

Many people had different experiences and baggage that came from growing up in the cult. Trust issues, sex issues and for many women the total inability to apply makeup effectively. But at least we got to use our hairspray!

If you're wondering how somone could be sucked into a cult, well that is for my older siblings to say since, Yes Wade, I am the baby and so was a teen as the cult was mainstreaming and starting to sputter out. They have more perspective on that particular subject.
But I can tell you our family entered The Church right before the birth of Baby Honey Bunch and remained loyal congregates for nearly 30 years until a secret about the church's view of our family came to light. Then there was a mass exodus that occured that involved much teeth nashing. But if you want to find out what would make everyone leave after 30 years you'll have to stay tuned or LIVE THROUGH THE TRIBULATION! you'll miss it. But if you just can't wait to learn more, here are some links to help satisfy you till the next installment. Shadows of WCG , http://www.hwarmstrong.com/ and of course because I have a Wiki Love Affair http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_wide_church_of_god

Now for your viewing pleasure, The Plain Truth About Christmas. It's long but it explains why you were in class singing christmas carols and making christmas ornaments and we were sitting outside the principals office coloring pictures and saying "I don't believe in Christmas" to all who asked.






What's that? You want to comment? Just click on the itty-bitty words below that say "Gimme Some Sugar". Can you see them? Good. We can't wait to chat with you.

26 comments:

Sister Honey Bunch said...

The voice gives me the heebie jeebies.

And can I just say I didn't always look so dorky. But I was make-up-less, and apparantly didn't put my contacts in. But look at those Jordache jeans. I was stylin'

Sister Sassy said...

It's sort of funny I posted this today because OMG I ate SO much pork yesterday, for like-every meal. Don't tell Dad!

For those of you non-cult members or not Jewish we kept the clean and unclean meats rule which says eating pork and shellfish is a big no no. But we could eat Grasshoppers if we needed to. Gotta know your clean and unclean bugs in case there is no food when it was time to flee.

saintseester said...

Okay, I am sooo confused. I thought you were Catholic? Is that just some of you and it came later? It's too early for this.

Jen said...

Wow! That's so interesting--I can't wait to read more of the series. I'm diving into the Wikipedia article now. I just found out that a friend of mine was raised on a nudist commune in Oregon. (I've known her for years and she just told me a month or two ago.) Talk about memories...

Sister Honey Bunch said...

Ok, Saintseester. I just typed a whole long explanation and it disappeared. So, bottom line: My family was Catholic until I was born. We joined the cult and stayed for about 27 years. My family left the cult. Some of my family members are Protestant, some are agnostic, some are atheist. I am the lone Catholic.

Ashlee said...

Getting to know you...
Getting to know all about you...

I will await the continuation of the saga of the 'Sisters in the Cult'. :0)

Hannah said...

Hello from a former WCG member! Sister Honey Bunch thanks for your comment on my blog :) I am what many consider "unchurched" though I confess Jesus Christ of Nazareth as the Son of God.

I would like your permission to add your link to my "Former WCG members" Category on my blog.

Please don't feel obligated to return the favor. :) I thought it would be good to have a list of former member's blog and see how they were doing.

Sister Sassy, I LOVE your description of WCG! It's funny, but at the same time a perfect description of what it was all about!! God bless to you and yours!

Hannah

p.s. you can contact me at confessions_ucb@hotmail.com if you want your link added.

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

I don't think Jews can eat grasshoppers, though. No insects.

So, why the Jewish elements in WCG? This is a pretty interesting post!

Jill said...

Oh, I am so coming here more often (linked to you from Beck's blog :) )

Looking forward to your family devotionals!

tired mom said...

honey bunch I bet you wore a members only jacket over that outfit!!!

mom of 2 said...

wow...a real live cult...I'm completely intrigued and will definitely be tuning in for more!!

Jared Olar said...

I don't think Jews can eat grasshoppers, though. No insects.

Nope, grasshoppers are kosher.

Leviticus 11:20-23

"The various winged insects that creep are loathsome for you. But of the various winged insects that creep you may eat those that have jointed legs for leaping on the ground; hence of these you may eat the following: the various kinds of locusts, the various kinds of grasshoppers, the various kinds of katydids, and the various kinds of crickets. All other winged insects that creep are loathsome for you."

Of course, I'm not going to eat any locusts, grasshoppers, or katydids whether they're kosher or not. My parents once ate some fried grasshoppers, though. The exoskeletons, that is. They said with butter they tasted like popcorn. But you had to make sure all of the innards were removed, or else they would taste godawful.

Well, that's what they said anyway. I have no intention of finding out if they're right.

Jared Olar said...

By the way, I too am a former Armstrongist turned Catholic. Only one in my family. My mom died in November, still a member of an Armstrongist splinter sect, the United Church of God, which broke away from the WCG in 1995. My dad is still (nominally) a member of the sect, and one of my brothers and his wife and sons are members of the same splinter sect. Another of my brothers is still (nominally) a member of the WCG, but the other two brothers are "unchurched." My dad's family were formerly Romanian Orthodox before dad became an Armstrongist, and my mom was raised in the Congregationalist and Presbyterian churches.

SIster Sassy said...

Wow Jared, thanks for the back up on the grasshoppers. My father is in a split off too but the rest of my siblings aside from me, HB and Sister 7 are unchurched as well. Except for the Athiest but he left the church before I was born so of course he was always a black sheep. He had himself a good laugh once it all came down though.

Thanks for stopping by!

Wade Huntsinger said...

I must say that it is sad though because of the bad witness. Ok, my Dad was a Southern Baptist Pastor and he was pretty cool. I guess I am still SBC but my Dad was never too bad. He let me choose my friends and my music although now I wish he had stepped in a little more. Sisters, we ate everything. Fish, pork but no grasshopper, although after watching Keith Caredine show i wanted to be "grasshopper". Anyway, great post I like many others are awaiting the next edition. BTW, I am not a rocket scientist Sassy but I realized that you was the baby and maybe even a little spoiled. How about it Honey Bunch. Hey, thanks for the linkage "I think"...

HighHopes said...

Fascinating reading SB! Waiting for more.

Daddy Forever said...

I belong in a cult too. It's call the "Let's Have Kids and Pretend We are Parents Cult"

Brother Jimmy Eat World said...

I can't wait myslef to hear more stories. And that haircut rocks! Say hi, Herbet W. LOL! Is he still around?

Mrs. F said...

My husband grew up a member of the WCG. It was fun for me to click on the links you posted and find out some weird stuff about his childhood. We don't talk about his church experiences. Ever.

Mrs. F said...

My second comment on the same blog. I must like you. Haha. I was thinking about the fact that Wednesday is my husbands birthday (he is an ex-member of the WCG), and he once told me that he was actually born on Valentine's Day, but his mom begged the nurse to knock the clock back a few minutes so that he was not born on a "Pagan" holiday. So his birth cert says 11:58 pm on Feb 13th. Haha.

Sister Honey Bunch said...

Oh, Mrs F that is too funny!

Tell your husband to come visit us here and commiserate about having to go to the library during the valentine party at school!

Sister Sassy said...

Wow! interesting about your hubby's birthday.

Anonymous said...

This reference is also on point:

http://adventistsnotcult.blogspot.com/2008/01/how-many-gods-do-adventists-worship.html

Eric

Nightvision said...

Shivers go down my spine when I read this because bad memories rise up from my childhood. For me the Free Church wasn't a happy place at all and it sure as hell didn't feel free. ;-)

Nightvision said...

Forgot to say what a cute picture of little Sassy. :-)

Melanie said...

I'm finally getting around to reading all of your cult stuff, sister sassy! :) Wow, talk about some twisted stuff there. Made my head hurt. Funny, b/c I can relate in some ways to a lot that you shared and experienced... My parents studied (because they don't call it "going to church" ha ha ha) with Jehovah's witnesses for about 5-7 years of my childhood, and then they went on to take us to a Mormon church for a year, and then we even tried out the 7th day adventist church off and on for several years, all the while sending me to a very strict "church of christ" every sunday morning and wed evening (gotta love that "joy bus"), and then to a assemblies of God private school M-F. While I don't consider all of the above aforementioned "cults", all I can say is by the time I reached 16 yrs old I was one confused kid and decided to venture out and decide for myself what Christ was all about, and fortunately that path led me to a deep understanding of a LOVING, MERCIFUL, & FORGIVING Heavenly Father! After being part of and around so many different "denominations" my entire childhood - you can understand why I'm so adamant about going to a Non-Denom Christian Church! :)

Thanks for sharing those links w/us - loved reading the wiki one...

And just watching that video game the chills.