Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Sometimes you need a little "Come to Jesus"

We celebrated all weekend. We ate, drank, laughed, smoked candy cigarettes and played WII until the early hours. We were massaged, facial-ed, manicured and catered to. And the entire time I was unable to relax and enjoy my time with my sisters the way I wanted.

I had that constant, anxious feeling in my stomach. You know the one I'm talking about. It just gnaws and depresses and fills you with a big ol ugly ball of dread and worry. You try to pretend it's not there, put on a happy face and go through the motions.

And if you're lucky like I am, you have someone like Sister Big who has a "come to Jesus" with you before you get in your car to drive home.

Big said "Honey Bunch, I want you to take the next month and focus on getting a new job. This one is sucking the life right out of you." It seems that she found my behavior a tad bit worrisome. I've lost my mojo and instead of partying like a rock star (Who am I kidding? Partying like a rock star's boring older sister) I sat back and watched everyone else have fun.

We discussed how different I've been since I had Logan. How my postpartum depression threw me off balance and I lost my self-confidence. I continually sell myself short. I Accept jobs that are not a good fit or below my level of qualifications. I get bored or stressed and look for something new, which means constant change and little peace. (Ya'll wish you had your own Sister Big, don't you? She's good at the little "sit-downs".)

It has become a vicious cycle that needs to stop. Now. Because I am ready to enjoy my life. Experience the moment and not feel unsettled and worried. I'm ready for change.

So, today I will begin networking. I will assume I will get a position where I can make a difference. Today I will believe that I will find the best job where I can have the biggest impact. Where I can build a fulfilling career for a long time to come.

I believe positive thinking makes a huge difference. I believe in the power of prayer. Who's with me?


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18 comments:

Valarie said...

I'm with ya! I definetely wil be praying for you, I know there is something else out there for you. I know I have not ever met you, but I can see the twinkle in your eyes and we surely don't wont that to fade because of some jerk boss who doesn't care for other human beings. You are a strong woman and you CAN do this. Hope you have a wonderful day! :)

Jill said...

Amen to that... my husband is coming out of a 3 year funk as he has been offered a new challenging job, and I can see the sparkle in his eyes again. More power to you in finding a new position that fulfills you! I'll keep you in my prayers!

The Nester said...

I'm with you all the way over here girl! I got chills reading that post and I CANNOT wait to see what kind of job you end up with! You are absolutely fabulous and I am so glad that you shared this with us.

Now send that big sister girl over my way, i need a good talkin' to.

Ashlee said...

Amen sister! You are a rock star! Seriously...I'd party with you. :0)
Keep thinking positively. Something will come along. I had a crap job that I felt like I would be stuck in forever. But, one day, in walked my soon to be boss and he offered me a job. It was crazy! God does listen to our prayers, and he knows what is best for us. Maybe he's waiting for you to get back some of your mojo so you will SUPER ROCK at your new job! :0) So, go on a mojo hunt. Find it, find it, find it! Sorry, Dora the Explorer is on in the background. :0( :0)
Have a happy day!

Lisa said...

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
I can tell from waaay over here you want to!

go for it..Im prayin..
Lisa
coastal nest

Sandy C. said...

I agree 100% that positive thinking makes a difference. More so than most things! Good for you for taking this leap with your head up :) You can do it!

Sister Sassy said...

Prepare for Rain Sister!

Wade Huntsinger said...

No doubt. I too want to experience life to it's fullest. Recently, I thought about going back to get my Masters Degree so I could one day be a Program Director or perhaps a Safety Director, then I thought, "Why in the world would I want to do that"!!!!! I got it made. I have two raised kids and a wife of 25 years that I adore, now let's go and have some fun. Life is too short.....I will be praying for you HB, plus I think your little sister needs prayer too, hehe

Sister Sassy said...

Thanks Wade, I kinda do need some too :)

And back at you ;)

Amy said...

My sister in law is gifted like your Sister Big. So many times she spoke to my heart and her words and heart were in line with God's word. I'm glad you have her. I know I appreciate my SIL very much.

Sister Honey Bunch said...

Thanks for the prayers and positive thoughts girls and WADE (our token male!). I really appreciate them.

I'll be sending Sister Big over to see you Nester.

The View From Here said...

Thanks for the compliment on my blog about my Sistah Rachel Lucas comment - and for dropping in on my blog. I love the spirit of your blog! It reminds me of a cloister of two my best friend and I created many years ago. Neither are Catholic, but rather disaffected Protestants who grew weary of giving our money to a church that cared more about new carpet than people. So we started The Freelance Protestant Nuns 'Helping People However the Hell We Want' and started sending our $$ to things like World Vision and drug rehab programs for women, instead. Our logo was from a rubber stamp we found of a nun pointing a large handgun at you from very close range. She meant business! And so did we.

Good luck and great blessings on your hunt for your new life's work. I know you'll find it, and the world will benefit!

High Hopes said...

Good for you HB! I am pulling for ya! We all sometimes lose our verve from time to time. Hang in you will find it again!

BTW can you send Sister Big to my neck of the woods. I could sure use a pep talk here.

kspin said...

A couple of months ago I went through a period like yours where I didn't quite know which way to go. I get most of my inspiration from my music and this song seemed to really help my resolve.... so here is my video response.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG294M_kYWM

Good luck to you! I'm sending good thoughts your way.

Anonymous said...

Sister? Why is it that I ask you and sister Big for advice? You two are uplifting and confident and supporting. Hey I live back home finally!!! LIfe is good and I have choices. So do you. I was worried about you also this weekend! I hope you can enjoy everything the way you deserve to. Sister "A" at work wished me a blessed day. All "H" broke loose and I had to talk to the "DON". It ended up being a blessing at the end but thats how God works. Han in there. I do heart you!

Sarah said...

Great post. Thanks for sharing! And,yes you can read my book when it gets done, WHEN being the magic word.

I will be praying for you and your networking. I so the same way. Now is the time to do what matters, do a job you love, enjoy life and try to make a difference in the world around us. Go for it! I believe in you!

Sister Big said...

Ditto!

Martha said...

You go, girl!!!!

xoxoxox