Thursday, June 12, 2008

In Which My Son Offends Me

Today was Logan's last day of school. A day he has been looking forward to and dreading in equal measures.

He's done with having to listen to his teacher explain the importance of reading and writing and arithmetic all day long, and yet he gets a little nervous when there is a change-a-coming.

Because what if it doesn't meet his expectations? That's when I usually say,

"Wow. That's a big, fat bummer sweet pea."

After all, I am nothing if not a loving and supportive mother.

As soon as I sat down at my desk this morning, my cell phone rang. I went to silence it until I looked on the display and saw that it was my kid's school. Crap. That's almost never good. So I answered the phone with fear in my heart.

The secretary was calling to tell me she had to cut some gum out of Logan's hair. When I asked her how it got there, she told me she didn't know. She went on to explain that my darling sweet precious baby boy, refused to spill it. She asked him three times. Three times he sat mute.

I have always heard that in negotiations, the first person to speak loses. I always lose. Not my boy. He didn't speak a word, so the secretary asked Logan,

"You're not going to tell me?" and Logan simply replied,


It was not a proud moment for me. Of course I was embarrassed by his lack of respect. So I called my husband. Tom was going to pick him up and I wanted to let him know that Logan needed a little chat about respecting those in authority. Oh, and P.S: Where the heck did the gum come from?

When Tom picked him up, Logan confessed that he was chewing gum when he went to bed last night. Which isn't a horrible thing except for the fact that it means nobody had the kid brush his hair this morning. And by "nobody" I mean Tom. He had the day off and was the one to help Logan get ready for school.

When I questioned Tom about it, he admitted that he didn't remember seeing Logan brush his hair, nor did he tell him to do so.

Fabulous. Yet again I look like White Trash Mom. Thanks doll. A great way to end the school year.

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Sister Sassy said...

Ok, that is too funny! I was hoping he wasn't talking to protect a friend who had given him a piece of gum, thinking he was doing good. But really he just didn't want to admit he'd done it by accident. Lol!

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

I wouldn't sweat it. Trust me, as a long-time elementary teacher, the person in the office wouldn't have two thoughts about this.

Pain in terms of the school year, though!

Ashlee said...

What a memorable last day of school! :0) It's ok...there was probably so much crap going on for the secretary that she forgot it within a matter of moments. :0)

high hopes said...

At least it is never boring and I bet she has forgotten all about it.

janethesane said...

It will be a great story to tell later in the trailer park.

Liz said...

I stumbled onto your blog, it's hilarious! Loved this story... but I'm sure they didnt consider you a white trash mom!

Wade Huntsinger said...

White trash from Michigan. Come on HB those are only down here in SC, but one way to fix that is to give him the old GI Joe buzz cut. I call it my scratch and go morning cut. Anyway, the record shows you are a good Mom, cept where I come from when a kid disrespects authority, we sale them, hehe