Friday, January 25, 2008

Fashion Police: Sassy Has the Book Thrown at Her

Fashion has never been something I've ever been very interested in. In fact aside from the break down purchase of a Guess T-shirt in middle school (I was too poor for the jeans) I've purposely remained fashionably bleak so to speak. In early High School I tended to dress like a Jr. Executive for some reason, not sure what that was about, but then Kurt Cobain hit the airways and grunge look here I came! I hovered somewhere between grungie, hippy and gothy (before there was such a style) and finally decided to gain 60 lbs and just settle for frumpy.

After grad school and baby number two I made an actual effort to lose weight and try to put myself together in a more fashionable manner, yet I still find myself wearing outfits that illicit a "It looks like you just picked random clothes off the floor and put them on" comment from Ms. Oh So Chic co-worker (and friend:) ). Since I felt like a hipocrit for making fun of some fashion flubbers here in my hometown I decided to put myself out there with a week of Sister Sassy fashion and let Ms. Oh So Chic and Honey Bunch have at it. I'll also let you get in on the action.


Monday: I was rather proud of this ensable. The tops were from Kohls-I think the sweater was $7, the Orange shirt $15. The skirt is a year old and from Old Navy Outlet, I don't know how much I paid but I can promise it was less than $15. The fun stripey tights and shoes were from Target and also less than $15. How do I know? Because something just won't let me pay more than $15 for a piece of clothing...I just can't do it.

Sister Honey Says: Cute tights. I think I might like the skirt. If it's corduroy (it is and you were with me when I bought it). If it's not, burn it. The top half... I'm not a huge fan. I would like to see you wear a thick cable turtleneck in one of the darker colors that are in the tights. Lose the shoes and wear a pair of high boots. (Honey, I think a turtle neck would accentuate my fat face, thank you very much)

Ms. Chic says "I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Sassy in a skirt, especially one that hits right at the knees like this one! Great color combination with the beige tones and a pop of color with the orange underneath, a perfect complement to Sassy’s skin tone and frequently changing hair color (hehe). Ordinarily this would be a great outfit, however the “typical Sassy” stripped sock/tight addition really takes away from the whole look. I would recommend some basic panty hose or a darker brown tight. Black shoes is a big no, no with this outfit; what happened to the tan heels you bought to go with this look? Also, this is how I would expect “My Manager” (lol) to dress on a regular basis."

This outfit is more traditional office attire. It's cute, the pants bug the hell out of me though because they zip on the size and have a double button. The top sweater from Target, bottom sweater from Old Navy Outlet (Ms. Chic expressed surprised that Old Navy Outlet would have such a cute item) and the pants from the Gap outlet. This is probably most chic outfit...however I had a big flaw the brought the whole thing down...

Honey Says "Big. Fat. Yawn. There's nothing about that outfit that says "Hey. You want to know me. I'm funny. I'm smart. I'm cool". It mostly says you grabbed a pair of black pants, a pink shirt and then remembered it was winter and went back for a sweater. Or jacket. Whatever the heck that is. Again, it's not a bad or ugly outfit. Just quit wearing it." (Mind you this comment is written by a girl who thinks it's ok to wear overalls. Seriously, only painters and pregnant women should wear overalls! EVER! Give me a break Honey Bunch!)

Ms. Chic says "Oh, the ever so “I’m trying to be professional” Sassy. Although you can’t tell from the picture the sweater is quite provocative and I love it! The low cut looks great when you have something to show off like Sassy (hehe), although there is the chance some male cohorts may take a peek (sorry Jim, it’s reality). Loose the black cardigan it is too big on you anyway. To make the outfit look professional a nice, fitted, beige blazer would look wonderful."




Ms. Chic says "It’s always good to own a pair of FUGGS and “yay” for keeping up with stylish winter boots. Although UGGS are much better (trust me once you wear a pair you won’t be able to go back)."






This picture speaks for itself. I got it from this great short lived thrift store in Kalamazoo called Planet Clairs.

Honey Bunch says "Oh for the love all that is good, God the Father, Jesus and Mother Mary, BURN THAT SHIRT. That is all. "

Ms. Chic says "Paisley rocks! It’s been making a huge comeback over the past few years, so you can still pull off the clothes you wore in High School (well some of them, don’t get the wrong idea Sassy). Loose the tee underneath and replace it with a lower cut white tank, maybe with some lace along the top. Low cut is a MUST when wearing a button shirt open like this. I would say a bit too casual for M-Th., but no problem with jeans on a Friday"



This is a casual outfit and probably most closely represents my normal dress. Nondescript tops and cords...because I came across a pair of cords that fit well and looked fine so I bought three pair in different colors. Sue me.

Honey bunch says "Corduroy pants, v-neck sweater, generic shirt underneath, socks that have no business with that outfit. I feel that it is not right for work (thanks but I work in a basement and all my business is conducted via phone and email so I'm comfortable with this choice). It's the kind of outfit you would wear to hang around the house and scrapbook-if you were the scrapbooking type. You're not. You don't dress edgy enough. I think you try to be "different", but you also need to include "cool" and "stylish".

Ms Chic says "Are those the socks you really had on with this outfit? I seem to remember a mismatched pair being worn, which is also “typical Sassy” fashion. These cords fit really well (although they could use a hem) and again the beige tones compliment herself. The green sweater is another great color and I like that she thought to brighten it up with pink! I have to say though, this looks like an outfit you would wear on a Saturday while running around with the kids, rather than to work."




I love this sweater, its great and warm and ugly and it has two front pockets! What more could I want? I wore this sweater on purpose thinking Ms. Chic would hate it, but that backfired and she thought it looked similar to some Shee Shee designer so and so... I got this at Goodwill too many years ago and it was old then. Probably from the 70's sometime.
Honey Bunch Says "The colors of the sweater are good. The sweater itself is hideous. Please don't ever wear it unless you are outside building a snowman with your boys. Better yet, put it on the snowman".

Ms. Chic Says " While most may view this sweater as ugly; it is actually rather fashionable. Who’d have known Sassy owns a designer knock off? Missoni is one of my favorite designer brands that I have yet to be able to afford. The colors don’t do Sassy or Missoni justice, but it’s got that “flame weave” I love!"

Overall Ms. Oh So Chic says...
Overall Honey Says "my critisism is not about the clothes you picked out. Well, except for the ugly shirt and sweater. It's that the outfits don't match your personality. They are more suited to a conservative, laid back person, of which you are not. This is how you should dress (I think you have something very similar):

So there you have my fashion week. I know it would have been better had I been wearing them but Jimmy Eat World worked late a lot that week and my arms only stretch so far.

...After reading the comments from "Honey"Bunch I decided that I was siding with her five-year-old son Logan. "You're mean! Super mean!" Oh and Ms. Chic, YOU get a raise! (except I don't have the authority to do that so it's only a raise in Karma for making a 30 something girl blush).



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16 comments:

Sister Honey Bunch/Judi maloney said...

For the record, I quit wearing the overalls when Logan learned to walk. And, they were Capri overalls and really looked cute IMO. I know, I know. They weren't. But I was a post-partum depression mother who really had no concept of reality.

Sister Sassy said...

I forgot to mention that Ms. Oh So Chic is now my new favorite sister. lol! Just kidding Honey Bunch, no hurt feelings.

Anonymous said...

There's nothing wrong with how Sassy dresses. The office is very casual and it is in a basement. At least her clothes fit and aren't several sizes back. Now, if you want to talk about how she PARKS...

Anonymous said...

I liked the outfits, but I'm the least fashionable person I know (accesories? you need to accesorize stuff?) so don't listen to me.

Ashlee said...

At least you have someplace to go to TRY to be fashionable. I used to be super sassy with my outfits when I went to work. I loved my gray power suit. Put a blue or pink shirt underneath and nobody messed with the big boss lady. Sigh. My power suit now consists of either jeans or pajama pants and a tshirt. Usually a black or white tshirt. Why? I'm a SAHM. Not much to get dressed up for besides an occasional tea party. :0) I love Sundays because I get to put on a dress or skirt for church and get my sassy on. :0)

I know what you mean about paying more than $15 for a clothing item though. And so it does make it hard to look fierce and sassy with so few fierce and sassy clothing options. Sigh. And I still own clothing from when I was 18 too. Don't feel bad. :0)

Shari Braendel said...

LOL! Your sweet sister honey bunch visited my blog today and asked me to pay a visit to you...hmmmmmmm...is all I can say....really now, the question of the day is, "when did you graduate from high school?" You are quite brave to post your pics for review...it's time to get some new socks for sure...and get some pieces that reflect who YOU are....cause I know your're not the same person you were in H.S. Are you? Fashionable blessings, Shari Braendel

Anonymous said...

So sister sassy I have to say after looking at the first picture with the tights and shoes where is the house that fell on you after the tornado? It looked like the first technicolor shot in Oz. But hey who am I to talk. With the slump I'm in, when I do finally get out of my jammies I wear the only pair of jeans that fit and any top that will cover my fat gut. (Usually my husbands sweatshirt that we fight over)

Sister Sassy said...

"Oh yes, my pretty!" Witch-like laugh.

Jim Burke II said...

As much as I poke fun of as well :P ,I do enjoy the "ugly" shirts and sweaters from back in the day. You look good in them and I think they are very much your style. And I HATE it that you won't spend over $15 for a pair of clothing. Most of the time you a very frugal person and it pays off, but sometimes you just need to shell out some dough to look good and feel good!!!

Quick story: My beautiful Sassy was having foot problems, bad arches AND plantar faciatis! It was not getting better and foot rubs helped relieve the pain, but didn't stop it from coming. So I told her to to to 'the walking company' and get a GOOD pair of shoes to help. She very reluctantly agreed and tried on a low-end pair. Me AND the salesperson took about 1/2 hour to convince her that $85 it's ok to spend on yourself, especially when your feet hurt. The rest of the next 2 weeks was filled with her regret and buyer's remorse about it. Ya, go ahead and ask her about it and she will still complain about it, yuck!

Sister Sassy said...

Oh dearest Jimmy Eat World, the buyers remorse only lasted a bit because I took back those shoes and got my Merils to run in (which I still have and use -Jen would yell at me) and took the rest of the money and bought the Hard Cover Harry Potter books! Give me a HEll YEAH! Those books have offered way more enjoyement than those shoes. besides, I needed to lose 20 lbs, not new shoes. ;) and my Merils helped with that...(not til 4 years later)

Anonymous said...

Sister Sassy's outfits are part of what make her Sassy! It is simply part of who she is and I love her for it, ugly socks and all. LOL about the "power suits" in high school, I remember those!

Anonymous said...

When I think of Sassy, I think of that UGLY cardigan, brown tones, I think it has a belt, knee lenght, about 20 years old. Do you still have it? Get rid of it. One tip I heard for you well-endowed ladies is to never wear turtlenecks or high-neck shirts. It makes you look like you have ONE boob. Sorry Honey Bunch - no tutlenecks for Sassy. If you had cable, you could watch "What Not to Wear". They have such great fashion tips. Hey, maybe we could... Be right back.

Sister Sassy said...

Sister Big, if you are referring to my Sweater Coat that I bought with my dear friend Nada Freshman you of college..from a Goodwill- it's actually butt length and I LOVE IT! I get the most compliments on that thing than anything I've ever worn. I'll post a picture of it some day :)

Anonymous said...

I think I have to agree with Honey Bunch (she is my favorite aunt after all) that the clothes aren't bad, just a little boring. Sometimes, you just have to take some risks. And you'll probably end up paying more than $15 for things, but my motto is "you get what you pay for." I would recommend investing in a pair of trouser jeans because you can wear them to work and still look dressy, or wear them out, and they're flattering on pretty much everyone. I guess that's my advice...I'm off to find more cold medicine

Sister Honey Bunch/Judi maloney said...

These are cute
http://www.jcrew.com/content/231/body/includes/displayDenim.jhtml?gen=w&type=larger&wash=wtr&popupEdition=231

These are only $17

Anonymous said...

I love Kohls! My mom makes fun of me for it! haha