American Idol, Dawg

I am compelled to review American Idol this week for a couple of reasons. First, I loves me some Neil Diamond. What is better than a little Sweet Caroline and I Am I Said?

Second, I have a big ol happily-married-woman-crush on David Cook. He is just smokin' hot the way he looks at me when he sings. Plus he cried the day his sick brother was in the audience. And, he's got a great voice. Which helps when you're in a huge talent competition that is based on, you know, singing.

Third, I want Jason to. just. go. home. I know there are some die-hard Jason fans (Ashlee), but there's something about the kid that really bothers me. Maybe it's the way he ignored Andrew Lloyd Webber's advice last week (Dude, the man is a musical genius. You are a baby. Listen to him!). Or the fact that he always looks a little bit high and he has a case of the munchies. Either way, I am not a fan.

But the main reason? It's my way of getting Boo Mama over here. See, I'm kind of her biggest stalker and she has barely acknowledged my presence. When you stalk someone? You would like them to know you exist. So, I'm linking our blog from hers today and I'm hoping she comes to visit.

In the interest of full disclosure, I wasn't able to watch the entire show. I had to go to a follow up meeting for my Beth Moore bible study. I left just as soon as I was able and got home in time for the second half hour. The Honey Bunch family lives like it's still 2006 and we do not have TIVO. I saw everyone sing their second song and am basing my opinion solely on that.

THIS is your American Idol review:

Syesha sang Thank The Lord for the Nighttime. Girl had it going on. I'm not familiar with this song but she did a great job.

My buddy Jason sang September Morn, which was unfortunate. He was bored. I was bored. The only people not bored were the girls swinging their arms (out of sync mind you) in the front row. When the judges yawned, rubbed their eyes and told him that he did a lousy job he tried to blame it on almost choking when he first started singing. So a goober was to blame for his blah-ness.

(As we went to commercial, the camera panned the audience. I am pretty certain I saw Hugh Hefner's girlfriends in the front row. Which makes me a little bit sick. American Idol is a family friendly show. Three hootchie mamas sharing an 85 year old man for a boyfriend? Not so family friendly. Makes me throw up a little in my mouth.)

My boyfriend David Cook sang All I Need Is You. Right to me. Did you notice that too? He's in love with me. And, my man ROCKED IT.

One of my favorite Neil Diamond songs is I Am I Said. When I saw Brooke was going to sing it, I got scared. I was sure she would forget the words. I needn't have worried about that since she WROTE THEM ON HER HANDS. Like this was an algebra test. Yes she did!

She didn't kill the song, but it was just "meh" for me. The thing she has going for her are her twinkly, sparkly eyes and pretty smile. She should do toothpaste commercials or be the new Breck girl. I don't want her winning this.

I would like to adopt David Archuletta. He could be Logan's new big brother and sleep in the top bunk. He's a doggone cutie patootie and sang America. While he was a bit shaky in the beginning, he brought it home at the end.

I think Syesha will be in the bottom two because she doesn't have a very strong fan base. Jason will be sitting right next to her since he put everyone to sleep and they have no idea what he sang.

And on a side note, did Simon look a little extra sex-ay tonight? I thought so. And I think Paula was sober! She was giving good advice and critiquing the songs like a pro.

Now go to Boo Mama's and check out some more reviews that are way better than mine.


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