Saturday, May 17, 2008

What Makes a Good Wife?

I didn't think I'd ever publish this blog because I just didn't think it was that good. But its a Saturday, I'm way tired and I'm downstate sitting through a wedding and feeding the kids candy to keep them quiet. So here you go. Its all I got to give right now.

Sister Mary Elephant emailed me this article thinking it would be good fodder for our blog, and she was right. Take a few minutes to read below and please refrain from throwing hard objects at your computer screen while you read The Good Slave's Wife's Guide


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So Whoa, right? This triggered something in me specifically though because I used to always hate the term "good wife". JimmyEW would sometimes tell me I was a good wife and I would always say accusingly "what does that mean?" He'd just shake his head and quiet down.

It was weird how that term always struck a nerve with me, something about it I just hated. I think maybe it had something to do with my belief that a "Good Wife" had to be subservient to her husband, be a good housekeeper (which we all know I fail at miserably) and was the lesser sex. But I think there may have been more, it could have been a subconscious reaction due to the fact I didn't love him and how could I possibly be a "good wife" if I didn't love him?

I would never have guessed that my lack of love may have been the root of my dislike of the term until our marriage meltdown occurred. Now that our relationship is so much more equal emotionally I beam when he tells me I'm a "Good Wife". I now know being a "Good Wife" doesn't mean making sure there are no toys to trip on when he walks in the door but instead making sure he knows that he is someone I love and respect. At least it turns out that is what it means to me.

But I'm interested in what you have to say. What does being a "Good Spouse/Partner" mean to you? And I'm saying spouse/partner so everyone can give their two cents regardless of gender or orientation. And you single people can answer too because I'm sure you have some ideas of your own.

Also, what do you consider a good husband/partner/wife to you?

What's that? You want to comment? Just click on the itty-bitty words below that say "Gimme Some Sugar". Can you see them? Good. We can't wait to chat with you.

8 comments:

saintseester said...

Someone I can count on to do what they say they will.

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

I agree with Saintseester, and yet my own DH has issues in terms of that - not in terms of basic trustworthiness but in terms of organization, so I can't think about that.

I think someone who tries their best to be there for you and to love you and support you. And that's in both directions. The rest is just icing.

Ashlee said...

I've read that list and it continues with more "good wife" tips. I really like the part about making sure we are a "little gay and a little more interesting for him." :0) And I always carry extra ribbons around to put in my hair JUST FOR HIM. :0)

Anyway....A good spouse is someone who has the best interests of the family at heart. They don't play on these gender based roles, they play a FULL part in the goings on of the family. If there are no children...the family consists of the couple. Neither is lesser than the other. It means unconditional, unending love. :0)

Momma Mary said...

So, since I get this in a reader, it came through with the WHOLE list. I read it to Not the Momma... He (jokingly) said he agreed, because, duh, how hard it it to take care of this stuff if you're not at work all day. (Jokingly, remember). So, I told him that when he retires, I'll go back to work -- So long as he follows the "good wife" guide. How nice would that be to come home to Not the Momma with a fresh ribbon in his hair?

Jen said...

I can't help it--I do get a kick out of these types of articles. (I just bought "How to be a Well-Dressed Wife", which was published in the 1950s I think. HINT: You should always have a pair of immaculate white cotton gloves with you.) But I take none of it to heart...

Seriously, a good spouse is someone who has your back and will always be your soft place to land. It's someone who believes in you when you may not believe in yourself. It's someone who sees your flaws and loves you in spite of (or even because of them).

And a good husband always takes out the trash. I'm sorry. That's just how it is at my house...

Jen said...

And by the way, I just tagged you ladies for a meme! I thought it might be fun especially given the 8-week challenge...

Sister Sassy said...

OH YES! A meme is JUST what I need. I am exhausted, I should be running laps outside with the kids since we've been cooped up in the car for hours.

We're supposed to do question answers tomorrow but I just don't have it in me to spend serious time answering in depth questions.

Good answers people, have laps to run or else I'd comment more. I'll be back :)

kspin said...

My husband's grandmother lived with us for a short while and she LIVED this article! Her husband never even put his own food on his plate ...seriously! She almost had a heart attack when she saw jspin ironing his own clothes. She asked if I was sick or something. Thank goodness that that era is OVER!!!! :)

*awesome post!*